


A Whole New World

by coldor17



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Buck Begins, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, buck is refered to as evan a lot, eddie begins, first fic, its a sad one yall, no beta we die like men, this might suck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23493292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldor17/pseuds/coldor17
Summary: AU where Maddie and Buck switch places. This will follow most of the existing canon of the show, but with some (obvious) twists.Buck leaves his abusive husband, Doug, and shows up at his sister’s place in Los Angeles. Wanting to start a new life, Buck joins the LAFD and is placed on the 118. Then Eddie Diaz shows up and Buck’s life goes nuts. Again.Takes place right after season 1, then we get on track (kinda)
Relationships: Athena Grant & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Athena Grant & Michael Grant, Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Eddie Diaz/Shannon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Ali Martin, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Doug Kendall, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 38
Kudos: 320





	1. A New Beginning (Hopefully)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic and I wanna do a great job! I'm going to try to stick to most of the show's canon, but I know it won't be perfect.
> 
> I DON'T OWN ANY RIGHTS TO 9-1-1, ITS STORY OR CHARACTERS. JUST ADAPTING TO MY WORK.

Buck quickly packed his Jeep as full as he could get it before hopping in the driver’s seat, inserting the keys and turning on the vehicle. The Jeep tore out of the cul-de-sac as the Pennsylvania sky started to turn grey as multiple storm clouds started to roll in. Buck blinked away tears in his eyes as he watched his home disappear in the rearview mirror and as he plugged in the directions for his sister’s address in Los Angeles, California. He was gonna get as far away from this place as he could before Doug got back from work. Buck had been planning his escape for months before he finally had the courage to do anything about it. 

The journey from Hershey to LA was going to take nearly 3 full days of driving, and Buck didn’t want to be stuck in this Jeep with only his memories keeping him company, whether they be bad or the rare good ones. He reached over and grabbed his phone off the passenger seat and scrolled through his contacts until he saw his sister’s name. Pressing the call button, Buck immediately felt a whirlwind of emotions - anxiety, embarrassment, shame. He hadn’t talked to Maddie since… well, Buck couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to his sister. It was before she had actually moved to LA. Doug liked to remind Buck that he was all the family Buck needed, and naive, dumbstruck-in-love Buck fell for that. 

_ Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.  _ Oh God, what if she didn’t answer? Was she angry at him for being a terrible little brother? What if --?

“Evan?” came a voice - Maddie’s voice - from the other end of the line, “Evan, are you there?”

Buck smiled slightly as he heard his sister’s voice. “Hiya, Madds.”

“Evan, are you okay? What’s happening?” Maddie asked.

“Oh, you know, just wanted to see how you were doing on this wonderful Wednesday afternoon! Haven’t talked to my favorite sister in a little bit,” Buck said, turning onto the interstate, leaving Hershey city limits.

Maddie huffed and chuckled from the other end of the line. “It has been a minute since we’ve talked. About three years worth of minutes.”

“I’m sorry, Maddie. I wanted to reach out so many times,” Buck’s smile slowly fading from his lips. “Just… some things kept coming up and I never could.”

Maddie went silent for a little bit. “It’s okay. I’m not angry. I’ve missed talking to you, Buckaroo,” she finally said, using his childhood nickname. “What’s up? I wanna get as much talking time with you as I can before Doug ruins everything again.”

At the mention of his husband’s name, Buck immediately started searching the cars around his Jeep for the silver Charger that belonged to Doug. He couldn’t have been more than three miles from town, but Buck didn’t put it past his husband to already be on the lookout for him. Collecting his thoughts, Buck turned his attention back towards his conversation with his sister. “Please don’t talk about Doug like that, Madds,” Buck pleaded. “He doesn’t ruin  _ everything _ .” Buck used the word slowly, but hopefully not slow enough to drag too much attention to his hidden meaning behind it. 

Maddie scoffed. “Buck, you know how much Mom, Dad, and I detest that guy.”

“Yeah, but he’s my… husband.” Buck slowly choked out, tears once again welling at his eyes. He didn’t want this conversation to be about Doug anymore. “What are you doing right now?”

Maddie seemed to get the hint that Buck didn’t want to talk about his husband anymore. She sighed into the speaker before answering, showing her frustration with her younger brother. “I am in the break room at work. We’ve been having a busy day, but then you called and I pulled off the floor.”

“You can do that in an ER?” Buck asked. “I thought you were going to try to keep the same schedule you had here in Pennsylvania.”

“Buck, I’m not a nurse anymore,” Maddie explained, much to Buck’s disbelief. Maddie always raved about her job as an ER nurse, said it gave her purpose and meaning. “I got really burnt out and left the hospital. I’ve been working at 9-1-1 dispatch for about a year and a half now.”

Buck sat in his seat, ashamed that he didn’t know that his sister had gotten so tired or exhausted from a job she loved so much. “Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“I know, Buck. I would have told you sooner if we had talked in three years.”

“I thought you said you weren’t upset.”

“No,” Maddie retorted. “I said I wasn’t angry, not upset. Big difference.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Buck apologized, quickly. Too quickly, Maddie noticed. “How did you go from the ER to 9-1-1?” Buck asked, hopefully trying to throw his sister off the trail.

Maddie didn’t answer for what seemed like forever, as if she wanted to change the topic that they were on, but didn’t when she finally answered Buck’s question. “I got so tired of helping people too late and decided to help them as soon as I could. That lead me here.”

“Is it what you were hoping for? Was it the change you needed?” Buck inquired.

“Yes and no,” Maddie answered. “I can help almost everyone, but there are just some people who help is too late for, or for those who are afraid to ask for help.” That last part, Buck could feel Maddie staring at him from across the room, just like when they were younger.

“I’m sorry, Madds.”

“I won’t say it’s all okay, but I can’t afford to take that stuff home with me. We have a system here that helps me leave those calls here.” Maddie replied, some lightness finding its way into her response as she spoke. “But what about you? Are you still in school? Following in your amazing big sister’s footsteps?”

Buck shuffled around in his seat, unsure how to tell his sister that he wasn’t in school anymore. Might as well just be direct. “Well, no. I got my degree already.”

There came a screeching sound from the receiver as Buck was sure his sister shouted “WHAT?” into the phone. Buck winced from the sound but readjusted the position of his phone back to his ear. “What do you mean you got your degree? You graduated? When was I gonna get to know that?” fumed Maddie.

“It was just a few months ago,” Buck began. “We decided on a small get together to celebrate.”

Silence. 

“Maddie?” Buck asked, softly.

“Did you make that decision, or did Doug?” Maddie asked, with a very annoyed and pissed tone of voice.

Buck didn’t answer right away. “Doug and I thought that’s what was best.”

“Were Mom and Dad there?”

Again, Buck took a few seconds too long to answer. “No.”

“Are you mad at them?” Maddie inquired. Her tone got a lot quieter and soft. “Are you mad at me?”

“No! Not at all!” Buck quickly responded, trying to see what he could do to fix this whole mess. “Doug thought that--”

“Oh, Doug thought.” Maddie interrupted. “You know, Evan, I might be single, but I really think that something that big should be discussed by both parties, more accurately the one whos actually celebrating his success!” Maddie’s voice started to rise again as Buck could tell she was getting more and more frustrated. “I think you really need to explore the possibility that Doug isn’t the greatest thing on Earth--”

Buck ended the call, tears threatening to pour over, not being able to take the thought of the one person left on this Earth that he wanted to be near being angry with him and bad-mouthing the last person he wanted to think about. He set the phone down on the seat next to him as he turned the steering wheel towards his exit. Once he settled back into the rhythm of driving, he reached for his phone again to turn on some music. He saw Maddie had left him four text messages.

_ ‘Buck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my cool’ _

_ ‘Please call me back’ _

_ ‘Okay I’ll hear from you soon I hope’ _

_ ‘I love you to the moon and back, Evan’ _

Looking up to see if he was clear on the road, Buck quickly typed out  _ ‘no, it’s okay. it was my fault for not inviting you. i’ll hopefully talk to you soon. <3’ _ and hitting the  _ send  _ button. He dropped the phone and started tapping his fingers on the wheel to beat of the music he had put on. 

**********

Maddie rubbed her forehead as she sent the last message to her brother reading ‘ _ I love you to the moon and back, Evan _ ’, worry creeping up her spine and down to her core. If there was one thing on this planet that she cared about, it was her little brother. She knew she had crossed a line or two and wanted nothing more but to call him back and profusely apologize. 

She felt a hand graze her back as she looked up as she saw her friend, Josh, smile at her. “Hey, girl. We doing okay? Bad call?”

Maddie swallowed her worry (or at least most of it), smiled, and nodded. “I’m fine, Josh. Thanks. And not the greatest call, no.”

Josh pulled up a chair from the table Maddie was sitting on and sat down. “Wanna talk about it?” he asked. “Was it a dead-end?”

Maddie shook her head and held up her cell. “No. It was personal. My brother called me.”

Josh sat up straight and put his mug down on the table. “Evan called you? How long has it been?”

“Nearly three years. And I made him hang up on me.” Maddie looked down at the ground, with a feeling of guilt and sadness sweeping over her. Tears welling at her eyes, she batted them away with her eyelids. “He graduated from college and didn’t have any of his family there to support him, and I guarantee Doug is behind it.”

Josh nodded and rested his hand on her leg nearest to him. “Sweetie, you didn’t do anything any good sister wouldn’t have done, I’m sure,” he reassured her. “If Doug truly is behind it, then I’m sure Evan wanted you there. You’re the kids freaking idol.”

Maddie chuckled. She sure hoped she was still her little brother’s role model. She wiped her tears away and stood up, startling Josh a little. “Come on, we’ve got people to help.”

Josh stood, pushed in his chair, and hugged his friend. The two left the break room and headed back to their stations as Maddie checked her cell once more before setting it down. Buck had messaged her back. ‘ _ no, it’s okay. it was my fault for not inviting you. i’ll hopefully talk to you soon. <3 _ ’. Reading the message, she was still very worried, but after seeing the little heart emoji, she saw her brother’s face smiling at her. Maddie set the phone down, put on her headset, and hit the answer button when it started to ring.

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

**********

Friday evening came at an awfully long time as Maddie walked up the stairs to her apartment. When she pulled out her keys, she noticed the door was already unlocked. Maddie stopped. She  _ always  _ locked this door when she wasn’t home. Slowly opening up the door as to not make any noise, Maddie made her way into the apartment, also grabbing the baseball bat that rested against the inner doorframe. She made note of the clothes right outside of the bathroom door, and she could hear the water running. Maddie made her way to the door, slowly opened it, entered, readied her bat, grabbed the curtain, and  _ pulled _ .

“AHHHHHH!”

“UGHH-AHHHHHHHHH!” 

It was Buck. Her brother. Naked. Her brother, Buck, was naked. In her house. More screaming followed.

**********

A few minutes later, both Buckley siblings were sitting on her couch in the living room, this time, Buck had clothes on. “Do you think there is any way we can unsee that?” Buck asked, laughing.

“Oh, come on, I used to give you baths,’ Maddie countered. “At least we both weren’t naked.” 

“Yeah, when I was two.”

“Hey, how did you even get in here?” Maddie asked her brother, throwing him a confused look.

“I told the building manager I was your brother?” Buck answered as if the answer was obvious. 

“And he just believed you?” 

“Hmm. No.” Buck looked down in defeat. “But he told me I could wait for you and I found your spare key.” Buck looked up with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes as he held up the key. 

Maddie gasped at her brother and swiped the key from him as Buck started laughing to himself. “Evan Buckley, how dare you!” She couldn’t help but start cracking up herself. “So where is Doug?” she finally asked as she saw no evidence of his being in the apartment.

Buck took in a deep breath and looked down and averted his sister’s gaze. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

Maddie tilted her head as she tried to make eye contact once more. “You left him?”

“Finally.”

“Geez, Buck. What took you so long?”

Buck breathed out through his nose loudly before meeting his sister’s eyes once more. “What can I say? Mom was right, Dad was right, you were right. Everyone was right.”

Maddie reached out her hand and placed it on Buck’s forearm, right above his tattoo. “Do they know?” Referring to their parents, Maddie made sure that Buck knew she was there and he wasn’t alone. 

Buck shook his head to the side. “No one knows. And please don’t tell them!” he quickly added. “If they call, I don’t want anyone to know that I’m here.”

Maddie tilted her head again to look at Buck, some suspicion building in her expression. ”Sounds like you’re hiding out, Evan.”

Buck had to play it cool. Don’t arise suspicion, rule number one. He knew that. “No, just… laying low for now.” Buck needed to change the subject and change it quickly. “So, I want to get my life started out here.” That seemed to throw Maddie off a little. “Do you mind if I stay with you until I get my bearings straight?” Buck continued.

Maddie seemed to still be trying to wrap her head around the fact her brother was saying he wanted a life in LA. “Umm. Absolutely!” While her response sounded forced, it was anything but. She was ecstatic deep down that Buck was here. 

The two debated on what to order for food since neither felt like cooking any food. After deciding on pizza and getting it, the two ate in relative silence. After dinner, they made up a makeshift sleeping area for Buck on the couch. Maddie insisted he take her bed after his drive, but Buck wouldn’t let her give up her bed for him. They also decided to go look around for a job for Buck in the morning. 

The time came for sleep as both Buckley siblings made their way to their respective sleeping areas. Buck didn’t sleep a wink. Every time he heard a noise come from the outside, he jolted up in a cold sweat, anxious that Doug would burst through the door and drag him back to Pennsylvania. 

Maddie made note of every time he had sprung up from her room.

**********

Three and a half months later, Buck made his way to his new fire station. He had decided he was, in fact, going to follow his sister’s footsteps in emergency response. He had enrolled in the fire academy that day he and Maddie went looking for opportunities. 

The painted numbers ‘118’ stood out boldly on the garage door as Buck walked in. Two engines sat next to each other with an ambulance over to the left of the station, all three getting cleaned and polished by the firefighters on the floor. As Buck marveled at the vehicles, he made his way to the back, where he saw the locker rooms, the gym, and stairs that lead to the kitchen and offices. Making his way up the stairs, he saw three fighters sitting at a table, seemingly enjoying a meal; an older guy sitting at the head of the table, an African-American woman sitting at his right, presumedly laughing at a joke, and another man, whose face Buck couldn’t see. As Buck got closer to the table, the woman nodded at him and the older guy looked at Buck. “Um, hi, I’m Evan Buckley, new recruit, I was told to report to Captain Nash.”

The three looked at each other. “You know a Captain Nash?” asked the one at the head of the table to the others. 

Uh-oh. Anxiety started to turn in Buck’s stomach as he realized he might have made a huge mistake on his first day. The anxiety must have gotten through to Buck’s face because when the older gentleman looked at him again, he smiled ear-to-ear and said: “Grab a seat, Evan!” 

Everyone around the table and Buck himself started laughing as he sat down next to the other man, who Buck saw was Asian-American. “Buck! I go by Buck! Yeah, I don’t really like being called ‘Evan’.”

“Well, welcome to the 118, Buck!” spoke the older guy again, Buck caught glimpse of the nametag, which read  _ ‘Nash’ _ . The Captian slapped his hand on Buck’s shoulder, and Buck jumped, immediately thrown back into a memory with Doug standing in front of him, with anger in his eyes. 

Everyone’s laughter brought Buck back to reality though, and Buck put on a smile, hopefully, no one saw that. “Thank you.” Buck quickly had a plate in front of him and he was being served a helping of pasta. And it smelled amazing. “This is awesome! Is it always like this?” Buck asked the woman across from him, whose nametag read  _ ‘Wilson’ _ .

“Always.”

“Well, as long as Bobby is in the Captain’s chair anyway!” spoke the guy next to Buck, whose nametag read  _ ‘Han’ _ . 

Buck looked down at the food, then back to his new colleagues. When he looked back up, he smiled at them. “I think I might be in the right place!” 


	2. A New Family (Maybe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some mentions of substance abuse, suicide, and a flashback to some abuse (none of these are flushed out in detail)

Buck was born for this job. He loved showing up to dangerous situations and being able to help others and, let’s be honest, he loved being the hero. Being a member of 118 was also a great time. The relationships he was building with his team were unlike those he’s ever had with coworkers before. Henrietta, or Hen as she preferred, was a big sister to everyone. While she didn’t compare to Maddie, she was her own force of nature. Hen had the ability to make everyone’s mood to be in much better shape after a rough call better than anyone else could. She was also one of the funniest people Buck had ever met. Howard Han, or Chimeny, was a… character that took Buck some getting used to. He was a sarcastic, a little arrogant at times, but he had a good heart. Honestly, the guy was like a male version of his sister. And Bobby was the glue that kept the squad together. He and Buck had this little thing where Buck would call him “Pop” every now and then. The others in the station were also great people, Buck just didn’t know them as well as the others. 

One day, during family dinner, Bobby turned to Buck. “So, Buck, you’ve been here for about a month now. How we doing?”

Buck stopped eating, fork still in his mouth, taken aback by the question a little bit. “Uhh, we’re good?” chuckled Buck, “Any reason we wouldn’t be?”

Bobby cracked a small smile. “No, not at all,” he clarified. “Just we don’t know too much about you. You’ve met my fiance, you’ve met Hen’s family, and everybody knows everything about Chim.”

“Yeah, except I still don’t know why we call him Chimeny.” Buck intervened, slowly seeing where this conversation was headed. Everyone seemed to laugh at that, even Chim.

“Anyway, when are we gonna get to know you on a deeper level?”

Buck set his fork down and looked at the food in front of him. He wasn’t one to mention his past to his sister, who was his best friend, much less any of his coworkers. Ah, screw it. He was gonna have to come clean about a few things, maybe this way he could control what came out and how it came out. “What do you want to know?”

Hen readjusted her seating position to be squared up with Buck. She smirked at him and Buck saw that he might have accidentally unleashed the beast. “Why’d you come to LA, Buck?”

Okay, easy one. “I wanted to be closer to my sister,” he replied. Not a lie either. “We hadn’t seen each other in nearly five years, talked in three.” 

It was Chimney’s turn to look at Buck with a questioning look. “You hadn’t talked to your sister in three years?!” Uh oh, so much for controlling the conversation. “I thought I had family troubles.”

“Uh well, you know how it is,” Buck started, trying to get control once more. “We just kinda fell out of a routine and never had the chance to get back into until a few months ago.”

Hen reached across the table to place her hands on Buck’s wrist. “Hey, it’s okay, family is weird. But that’s the great thing about family, they love you and forgive you.”

Buck nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. If Maddie hadn’t accepted him when he showed up, he didn’t have a clue where he might be right now. “Yeah. What else?”

“What did you go to school for?” Bobby asked.

“Communications.”

Questions started to come from the three and Buck was able to answer and handle them all no issues. Until Chimney asked the one question Buck didn’t want to be asked. Pointing to the small tan line on Buck’s right ring finger where his wedding band used to be, “What happened here?” Chim asked. “Who’s the unlucky lady to lose you?”

Buck’s throat started to close and his breathing ragged. He had lost all interest in this conversation. Scooting back from the table without answering Chimney, Buck stood up and thanked Bobby for the cooking, and started to head down to the locker room.

“What? Was it something I said?” Chimney asked, raising his hands in defense.

“Well, going off that answer, I’d say yeah,” Hen laughed, taking Buck’s plate along with hers to the sink.

**********

_ “9-1-1. What’s your emergency?” _

_ “Oh, my God! Help! We’re trapped in our car! It’s going under!” _

_ “Okay, ma’am, can you explain what you mean by ‘under’?” _

_ “Our tire popped and we went into the lake!” _

_ “Alright, where are you located?” _

**********

Buck sat on the bench facing his locker, his back towards the rest of the station. He understood the importance of trust and vulnerability on a team like this, but he can’t be that vulnerable, not now at least. Placing his hands together, he rubbed his ring finger, staring at the tan line. Maybe he should have thought about covering that up somehow. Buck’s mind started to race with all sorts of memories. Doug proposing to him, their wedding, the first time Doug lost his temper, the nights that Buck was admitted to the hospital with unexplainable injuries, Doug kissing him on the forehead saying Buck shouldn’t make him mad again, the times --- no. No more. Buck made a vow that Doug would not be an issue when he was on the job. He wiped away the tears that were welling at his eyes. 

The sound of someone clearing their throat, making Buck jump. When Buck turned around, he saw Bobby closing the door. “Hey, kiddo. Can we talk real quick?”

What was Buck supposed to do? Say no? He scooted over on the bench, making enough room for Bobby to join him. Bobby sat down but didn’t say anything. They just sat. It was Buck who spoke first, ending what seemed like forever. “I’m sorry, Bobby. I know why you all want to get to know me,” Buck could feel himself starting to ramble. “I’ve loved being here and a part of this team. You’re all amazing. I just can’t open up about everything.” 

Bobby nodded. “I understand, Buck.”

He didn’t though, he couldn’t, Buck thought to himself.

“There are things that we hold in for ourselves, things that seem so out of our control that if we let anyone see, we’re afraid no one will want us or anything to do with us.” Bobby continued. “I want you to come over to my place tonight. Have dinner with Athena and me.” 

“Why? Not that I don’t want to have some amazing food,” chuckled Buck, “But why at your place and not here or something?”

“Some things aren’t meant to be shared in the workplace.” Buck looked up at the older man, seeing nothing but compassion and empathy in Bobby’s expression. Buck swallowed and nodded. “Good, I’ll call Athena and we’ll have dinner around seven.”

Buck nodded and stood up, reaching into his pockets to text Maddie that he wasn’t going to make dinner tonight. He was interrupted when the blare of the alarm went off. Everyone in the station leaped into action as the orders over the speakers told the firefighters where to go and what the situation looked like. Buck slipped his phone into his pocket, making a mental note to finish that text to Maddie before running out of the locker room and hopping into the ladder truck.

*********

It was a little after seven when Buck pulled up to the building that Bobby’s apartment was located. Buck jumped out of Jeep wearing a blue and green flannel and his dark blue jeans, running across the street after checking for oncoming vehicles. He made his way to the door and buzzed the number of Bobby’s apartment. The door clicked open and Buck rushed in. After riding up the elevator, Buck walked to the door and before he had the chance to knock, it opened to reveal Athena Grant, Bobby’s fiance. “Buck! We were wondering if you had gotten lost.”

Buck smiled. “No, ma’am. Just running a little late and didn’t want to role up with a speeding ticket to dinner with a police officer.”

“Uh uh. Police sergeant. I worked my ass off for that position,” Athena corrected.

Buck’s face dropped. “Uh, yes ma’am, I’m sorry, didn’t mean--”

“She’s just pulling your leg, right babe?” Bobby appeared out of the left of Buck’s vision, to place his hand on his fiance’s shoulder. “Come on in, Buck!” 

“Well, only slightly.” Athena smiled as she moved aside for Buck to enter the apartment. The couple were matching as Bobby wore a dark red dress shirt along with his dark jeans while Athena wore a simple, yet beautiful red blouse that matched her red lipstick. Buck noticed that the table in the middle of the living room had already been set when he realized what he had forgotten to do.

“Oh my gosh! I need to call my sister real quick!”

**********

Maddie’s blue car pulled up in front of the 118’s station as she scoured the parking lot for Buck’s Jeep. When she couldn’t find it, she put her own into park and hopped out and entered the station. The station was quiet on the first floor as she could see most of the occupants on the second level, probably enjoying their evening meal.

She was about halfway across the floor when her phone started to ring. Buck’s face with a goofy smile popped up on the screen when she checked the ID. “Evan, there you are. What happened? I thought we were getting dinner.” 

“Hey, Madds, I’m so sorry, I meant to text you earlier but we had a call and I forgot!” Buck’s apologetic tone calmed Maddie as she felt like she was able to breathe again. She could hear Buck still talking, but she didn’t really pay any attention to it. She was just glad he was okay. 

“Buck! It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I just didn’t know. Where’d you say you were again?”

“Captain Nash’s place. He invited me to dinner so we can talk about something.”

“What kind of something?” Maddie asked, suspicion creeping into the back of her mind. Was Buck in trouble with the Captain? No, if he was in trouble, they would’ve met here at the station. It had to be on a more personal level. The only question was how personal and who was getting personal.

“I don’t know yet, that’s why we’re getting dinner,” Buck answered.

Maddie nodded as if Buck could see her. “Okay, it’s no big deal, I was just worried when I didn’t hear anything.”

“Sorry, Madds. I’ll let you know when I get home.”

“Okay, have a great night!”

“You too.” 

Maddie smiled when she heard his tone change to a happier one. She hung up and turned around to make her way back her car and to leave the station.

“I’m sorry ma’am, can I help you with something?” came a voice from her right. When Maddie turned to see who spoke to her, she met the gaze of a handsome Asian man, dressed in civilian clothes with his duffle at his side.

“Sorry, I was looking for my brother, he works here,” she started. She held up her phone to show him when she added: “He just called me to let me know he’s with Captain Nash!”

“You’re Buck’s sister?”

Maddie nodded and smiled. “Yep! I get the luxury of being that big lug’s older sister. Sorry, I’m Maddie.” She extended her hand to the man as he smiled and met it with his own.

“Howie Han, but you can call me Chimeny!”

“Why Chimeny?”

Howie - Chimney - looked down for a second and laughed. “It’s a long story.”

Maddie smiled. “Well, I no longer have any dinner plans if you don’t have anywhere to be. Maybe you could tell me that story.”

Chimney smiled back at Maddie, taking the hint. “I appreciate the forwardness.”

“I’m a forward person.”

Chimney tilted his head, trying to figure out how he knew her. She felt so familiar, yet he couldn’t place it. “Do we know each other?” he asked, hesitantly. He didn’t want to freak out the beautiful woman who may or may not have just asked him out to dinner, but he had to know.

“Maybe? I work at 9-1-1 emergency services and dispatch, so we might have talked over the radio before.”

That was it. “Oh, right. I remember now! You were on the call where we had to deal with the toddler in the minivan!” Chimney’s mind started to replay the scenario where some lady had accidentally locked herself out of her car, trapping her two-year-old in the van. “Also, I remember Buck telling us that you worked there, my bad.”

Maddie laughed. “Yeah, that was me. And Buck has told me a lot about you all, as well. What are you still doing here if I can ask? Didn’t your shift end a couple hours ago?”  
“Oh, uh, got back to my place and a water pipe had burst, so no water for a shower had to come back.” Chim shifted his weight as he made himself more comfortable. “So! If we’re going to get to my story, we should probably head out!”

Maddie nodded and turned once more to the open garage door as she and her new friend debated where to get some dinner.

**********

Buck said his goodbyes to his sister and hung up, then turned to his hosts. “I’m sorry, I meant to let her know before we got that call today-” He was cut short as Bobby held up his hand to let him know they knew.

“We heard, Buck. It’s not like you weren’t three feet away,” Bobby laughed as he pulled out Athena’s seat for her as she sat down at the table, then pushing her in. “I’m gonna go get the food, why don’t you sit down and get comfy.” Buck did as asked of him when Athena offered him a glass of wine. He accepted, but then remembered he’d also have to ask for a glass or two of water before leaving. He was worried about getting a speeding ticket, he didn’t want to worry about potentially getting a DWI as well. That’d be too embarrassing. Bobby walked out with a delicious smelling pork roast as he sat the pan down in the center of the table and boy, this thing looked amazing. Bobby also brought out salad, potatoes, and bread rolls. When Bobby sat down, he and Athena grabbed hands and he reached his other one out to Buck. “We say grace before we eat,” Bobby explained. “You don’t have to join if you’re not okay with that.”

Buck smiled and said he didn’t mind. He joined hands with both Athena and Bobby as they bowed their heads and Bobby prayed over the food and their time together. 

They dug in as they made conversation, how everyone’s day was, Buck’s birthmark on his left temple, how Athena and Bobby met - on the job (how very much like them) responding to a cockfighting match gone wrong. Buck was wheezing when he learned that Bobby just handed a rooster to his future fiance and left with his crew. Athena chuckled but eyed her fiance as if she still held a little bit of a grudge. 

After dinner, Buck helped the two take everything back to Bobby’s kitchen to be washed (Buck also made sure to grab another glass of water). The group slowly made their way to the living room area as Buck sat in the armchair, Athena and Bobby sitting down in the loveseat with Bobby in the middle of the three.

“Anyway, Buck, I asked you over because I thought this might be a better environment for us to get to know one another and I think I was right,” Bobby said as he and Athena intertwined their fingers. “And I also wanted to tell you a bit about my story.” Buck nodded but honestly had no idea where this was going. Bobby looked Buck dead in the eyes for the next part, getting very serious all of a sudden. “And since this is my story, I’m asking that you don’t go around sharing my story without my permission. I’m placing a lot of trust in you, Buck. I want you to know that.”

Buck nodded again, this time in agreement that he would uphold that promise. “Absolutely, Bobby.”

“Now, Chim and Hen both know a lot of my story, so there’ll be need for you to be afraid of accidentally let something slip out.”

Over the next hour, Bobby told Buck about his life in Minnesota, how his wife and two children died and how Bobby carried that burden for the next four years. Bobby was real with Buck. Buck couldn’t think of the last time anyone would’ve openly admitted they had struggled with anything huge, much less being an alcoholic or opioid addict. Bobby explained how he dived deep into work, pledging that after he had saved 148 people, he’d meet his family again. Buck started to tear up but refused to let any drop while Bobby kept talking. “You see, Buck if it hadn’t been for Hen and Chim,  _ our  _ family, I’d be a very different man today.” Bobby turned his gaze towards his fiance who was watching the two men, her hand never leaving Bobby’s. “I wouldn’t have this amazing woman here, I wouldn’t have my life in order.” Turning back to Buck, Bobby squeezed Athena’s hand once more. “There you go, Buck. That was the old Bobby.”

Buck finally let a tear or two drop as he looked down, suddenly not being able to breathe, not from fear or anxiety, but relief and awe of Bobby and his story. “Can I hug you?” Buck asked when he looked back up at his mentor. Bobby smiled and nodded and Buck shot forward and embraced the older man as Athena rubbed Buck’s shoulder. When Buck let Bobby go, he sat back into the armchair. “Thank you for telling me. I would’ve had no idea.”

“Well yeah, Buck, that’s the idea,” Bobby said as the three started to laugh quietly. “Now, there’s no expectation for you to tell me anything you aren’t comfortable with, but I want you to know that you won’t be judged or looked at differently if you want to ever tell us anything. You also won’t worry about us sharing with others. Your story, remember?”

Buck looked down at the ground, at his feet for a little while, debating whether or not to tell Bobby and Athena anything at all. He didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want anyone to peel back Buck’s mask that he’d worked so hard to put on. Buck’s anxieties told him that if he started to take even a little bit off, then the whole thing would crumble. Maybe that would be a good thing? Maybe it would help Buck find the courage he needed to live his days without the thought of someone else constantly on the hunt for him. With a deep breath, Buck decided to share the bare minimum he could. “Okay. I was married - sorry, still technically married - in Pennsylvania.” With that sentence alone, Bobby and Athena shifted in their seats, looking like they wanted to hear more. “I left him. We didn’t have the best relationship ever. That’s why Maddie and I hadn’t spoken in forever.”

Bobby and Athena nodded in understanding, Athena starting to recognize the signs. But she also could tell that Buck didn’t want to get into that, at least not tonight. “I would have thought that you were more of a ladies man, Buck,” she started, trying to show him she understood how far he was willing to go. 

Buck smiled at the comment. “Everybody does,” he joked. “They’re not wrong either, I’ve been known as both a ladies and a gentlemen’s man.”

**********

Buck stood at the door of the apartment, giving his gratitude to the couple. Athena hugged him and kissed him on the cheek and Bobby wrapped him into a tight hug and he was off. The drive went by quickly because it felt like he was at his apartment in no time. Pulling out his keys and his phone, he unlocked the door and texted Maddie that he made it home. Plopping down on his bed after stripping his clothes, Buck fell asleep and for the first time in who knows how long, had one of the most restful nights of his life. Everything was starting to look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? what did you think? I loved reading your comments on the last chapter! please let me know what yall think about this chapter as well!


	3. A Life of His Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we start to get a bit more into following the canon of the show including a few scenes from the Pilot episode. THAT BEING SAID -> THE SCENE WITH THE JUMPER THEY COULDN'T SAVE IS IN HERE (only a few sentences, nothing graphic or too detailed) BUT PROCEED AT OWN RISK. IF YOU ARE FEELING TRAPPED OR FEEL LIKE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY OUT, PLEASE KNOW YOU ARE LOVED AND THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE WITH YOU IN IT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this upload took so long. Every time I sat down to write I got distracted or had no motivation. But I hope you enjoy! I worked hard on this one!

_ “9-1-1. What’s your emergency?” _

_ “My son! He hit his head on the diving board and he’s not breathing!” _

_ “What’s your address ma’am?” _

_ “242 Beatrice Lane -- I’m in Beverly Hills! Please hurry!” _

_ “Okay, paramedics are on the way.” _

**********

Bobby followed Hen through the doors of the large Beverly Hills house as Chim opened the doors for them, Buck bringing up the rear, carrying the spinal board. The group quickly made their way through the house and to the backyard pool. There was a kid - Buck estimated he was probably only fifteen or so - he was lying on his back, looking as if he was turning blue due to the decreased oxygen intake. An older woman - assumedly his mother - was performing CPR, or at least attempting to save her son as tears trickled down her face. Bobby didn’t let anything about the situation stop him as he leaped into action and give out commands. “Okay, Buck, start chest compressions. Hen, start baggin’.”

“Got it, Cap.”

“Gotcha, Captain.”

“Ma’am,” Bobby knelt down beside the woman, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Come with me. I need my team to get in there.” She looked up at him, nodded, and moved to the side and sat on one of the chairs by the pool. “We’re gonna start CPR, it’ll be alright,” he reassured her. 

Once the mother was out of the way, Buck, Chim, and Hen sat their equipment down and got what they needed. Buck moved around his coworkers to the kid to get into position. “Starting compressions.”

Chim attached the oximeter to the kid’s fingers and turned the machine on. “Pulse ox is on! Pad’s on.”

Bobby turned his attention to the mother again, who looked like she was panicking - not that anyone could blame her. “Do we know how long he was underwater?”

She looked up at Bobby and shook her head. “No. I - I don’t know. A few minutes?” 

“Does he have any medical conditions?”

“No.”

“Any medications?” Bobby asked. She just shook her head and she turned her focus back to her son, as Buck finished compressions and told Chim to ‘go’ with the pads. 

“No rhythm,” Chim shook his head as no signs of any good indication appeared on the small monitor before him. Chim flipped a switch, upping the voltage charge to hit him again. 

Buck sat above him, sweat gathering on his brow, a pit forming in his gut. He hadn’t lost anyone yet on the job and he wasn’t prepared to have today be the first day for that. “Come on, kid,” Buck whispered.

_ Beep _ . 

The pit in Buck’s stomach left him, hearing that beautiful sound on the machine and the kid turned his head as he woke up and started coughing up water from his lungs. Buck laughed as relief flooded over him. The mom appeared next to her son and thanked him and reassured her son that he was okay. 

**********

The crew of the 118 climbed into the fire engine after putting all the equipment away, Bobby went on praising his team as they started the drive away from the neighborhood. Buck looked outside towards the sea. “Do you guys see this? God, what a view,” he remarked, taking in the beautiful sun glistening off of the seawater and bouncing back along the hills and rocks that made up the city’s surrounding landscape. He still couldn’t believe this was his life. A better life than his first one. 

The crew laughed as Hen placed her hand on his knee. “We see it, Buckaroo. We’ve all got eyes.”

“ _ Attention, Engine 118 _ ,” a voice from the speakers roared to life as dispatch connected them through the radio. Buck listened to the instructions and started to mentally prepare himself for the next call.

********** 

Buck stood next to Chim and Hen as they watched Bobby climb up the stairs to meet the woman they received the call about. She was sitting on the edge of the rail and soon stood, only holding onto the light pole as Bobby got closer. Buck stood there, silently praying to anything or anyone that would hear him. He reacted before he knew what had happened. He was bent over, hands on his knees panting hard after holding his breath for so long as he watched the woman fall through the sky. He didn’t need to hear her body hit the surface, he already knew her fate. Buck looked back up to where he saw Bobby last. The older man was holding onto the rail the woman had just been hanging on to, face down, expression dark (from what Buck could tell a few hundred feet away). Was it wrong that he was happy it wasn’t his call? As Buck thought this to himself, an immediate wave of guilt washed over him.

Afterward, when Bobby was back on the ground, Buck ran to the man he had considered a father figure in his life the last few months and hugged him. Bobby returned the embrace and then pulled away, trying to keep a professional composure in front of everyone else who was on the scene. “Thanks, Buck,” Bobby thanked him and clasped his hand on Buck’s shoulder as he started to move towards the truck. “I appreciate your concern.”

“Are you okay?” Buck asked, worriedly. 

Bobby nodded, but Buck suspected that was anything but the truth. Bobby must have noticed Buck’s skepticism. He just squeezed Buck’s shoulder once more before returning his hands to his side while they walked back side-by-side. “I’m gonna go home and I am gonna talk to my wonderful fiance. And then probably go to mass. Is that gonna satisfy you?”

Buck’s face flushed as he immediately felt as if he had overstepped his bounds. “I-uh… Sorry, Bobby, I didn’t mean --,” he rushed to find the words to try to make up for his blunder before Bobby cut him off.

“Buck, bud, you didn’t say anything wrong. I promise you that's actually what I plan on doing.” They reached the truck and met up with Hen and Chim putting away the equipment that they didn’t actually end up using. “Buck, you can ask these two,” Bobby spoke as he gestured to the other two, “if I had responded to this call a year ago, I’d be holed up in my apartment with a bottle of pills and booze in my hands.” Chim looked up slightly and gave a short, curt nod as if to agree with the captain. “But thankfully,” Bobby continued, “I have the greatest support system. Here and at home.”

**********

Buck made his way out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, headed to his makeshift room in Maddie’s apartment. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw someone in the kitchen, someone he didn’t recognize at first. Buck’s throat started to close as suspensions rose in his mind of who it could be. Buck looked anywhere around the living room that he could use to defend himself. He grabbed the first thing he saw on the coffee table and slowly moved towards the kitchen area. Raising whatever he had in his hand above his head he took aim at the person. “Turn around slowly,” Buck spoke, softly but tension building in his voice. The figure stopped abruptly and raised his hands and started to turn.

“Evan Buckley! What do you think you’re doing?!” Maddie’s shocked voice rang out across the apartment as Buck turned to see his sister leave her room and head to the kitchen. 

Buck stared at his sister with wide eyes before turning back to the figure in front of him and to his shock was a face all too familiar. Chimney. “Buck, what the hell is wrong with you?” he yelled. “Were you really gonna hit me with a candle?” 

Buck looked at the object in his hand. It was indeed a candle. “Uh… yeah,” Buck stammered. “Cucumber melon, to be exact.” He turned around and set the candle down and started back to his room. 

“Why don’t you get some common sense while you’re in there!” yelled Chimney. 

Buck stopped again and turned to face Chimney in the kitchen once more. “Why are you even here?” Buck rebutted. “I never gave you my address! Did you follow me?”

Chim scoffed. “No! Maddie did!”

Turning his attention towards his sister, a disbelieving expression plastered on his face. “How do you know him?” Buck asked.

“We met the night you had dinner with Athena and Bobby! You know the night you never messaged me and I was worried sick?” Maddie always knew how to counter her brother and his little outbursts every now and then. 

“Well, why is he here?”

“Cause he’s my friend, Evan!” Maddie seemed to be getting angrier and angrier as the conversation went on. “Maybe you should invest in some of those! I don’t think you have a friend here in LA yet, do you?”

Maddie’s accusation stung Buck. It was true though, he hadn’t had the chance to make friends. He threw himself into the academy and his work, not really attempting to make any relationships with anyone outside the station. Angrily, he turned his back to Maddie and Chim and entered his room. Closing the door behind him, he could hear the two outside talking - probably about that whole situation - but Buck couldn’t tell. He didn’t care. Buck threw his towel to the side of the room. And Buck just stood there for what seemed like an eternity. His mind was racing, anger and hurt swirling in his head when an idea found its way into his mind.

Buck walked over to his dresser and closet to get dressed. Choosing a simple grey tee and some dark jeans, Buck grabbed his wallet and phone and left his room. Maddie and Chim were seated at the small table that was in the kitchen talking quietly with one another, each with a glass of wine. Maddie looked up at Buck as he picked up his keys and put on his shoes. “Where are you going?” she asked softly.

“You’ve got your friends, sis. It’s time I got my own,” Buck responded, a little harsher than he meant, but didn’t bother apologizing as he saw the look of hurt flash in her eyes. He’d apologize later after Chim was gone and they were here by themselves. “Don’t wait up.” With that, he walked out of the apartment and headed for his Jeep.

**********

Buck parked the Jeep and hopped out, making his way towards the loud club that he had put in as his destination. He planned on making friends tonight, for sure. Walking into the large dark room, lights going crazy, bouncing off the walls and people that were on the dance floor and bar, Buck was met with the smell of sweat, adrenaline, and alcohol. Buck walked up to the bartender and ordered a beer, only to have the guy come back with four other drinks. “Hey, I didn’t order these,” Buck started.

“Yep, ones from that guy,” the bartender pointed to a handsome African American man, who smiled and nodded at Buck. “These two are from those two ladies over there. And then from that guy over there,” gesturing towards a dark-haired Adonis. “You’re a popular one tonight, buddy boy. Enjoy it.” Oh, Buck was definitely gonna have fun tonight.

He downed the drinks presented to him in a few short gulps and headed for the dance floor. Already with a buzz in his head, the room swirled and blended like a psychedelic painting. Buck watched as the two women who bought him a drink head up to him and started dancing up against him, a short blond with blue eyes (or green eyes? Buck couldn’t tell in this lighting) and a brunette who had brown eyes (Buck was sure of that this time). “Hi, ladies,” Buck smiled as he found himself settling into a rhythm of swaying his hips along to the beat of the music. He looked up again at the bar where the two men were apparently scowling at him, probably with bruised egos that their advancements weren’t appreciated as much. Buck didn’t mind or take offense, he just made eye contact with both of them and motioned for them to come join Buck and the two ladies on the dance floor. The two guys came over and positioned themselves behind Buck and to his side.

Time went by so fast dancing and Buck loved the attention he was getting. He deserved this, especially after his day Hell, especially after the last few years. One of the guys (the one behind him, the African American) leaned down, breathing against Buck’s neck. Buck tensed as he felt him place his lips on Buck’s neck, trailing up towards his ear. Buck shrugged him off, turning to him. “Sorry, handsome,” Buck apologized, “I’d really appreciate ya not doing that.” The guy nodded, seeming to totally understand. 

The group continued to dance but slowly started to dwindle. The dark-haired beauty that had found himself grinding up against Buck’s hip had excused himself a few minutes ago, but never found his way back. Then the two women moved away for a bit but only the brunette returned. Buck’s head was spinning, not really from anything bad, just spinning. The guy who was left leaned back towards Buck’s ear, Buck nearly thought he was gonna try doing that move again that he already said “no” to. But instead, he just whispered “I’ve gotta get going, hottie,” into Buck’s ear. “I had fun, now you go have fun with her,” nodding towards the brunette in front of the two. 

Buck nodded, and he was gone. Buck looked down to the girl, just now really taking in how gorgeous her eyes were -- Buck was always a sucker for brown eyes. “Hey, you wanna get outta here?” Buck was surprised at the sound of her voice, it definitely didn’t match what his expectation was. He expected a high pitched voice from such a petite woman, but that wasn’t the case. She had a lower, more stern voice. Buck picked up an “I’m a boss” vibe coming off her. Buck loved confident people. Buck smiled, nodded to her question, and leaned down for a kiss.

**********

Buck walked into the station the next day with a jog, trying his best to make up for the lost time as he was late. Bobby looked at him from next to the ambulance with Hen, with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. “Welcome to work, Buck,” Bobby said, sarcastically. “We were starting to wonder if you’d ever show.” Hen laughed silently as Buck smiled slightly as he headed towards the locker room.

“Sorry, Cap,” Buck turned on his feet to start walking backwards to face Bobby. “Had a late night and long drive, I tried to wake up early. Also, I’m only like, six minutes late!”

“What happened if we had a call in those six minutes? What would’ve happened if you weren’t here, hotshot?” A voice that Buck had become all too familiar with in the past twenty-four hours coming from behind him. 

“Well, good morning to you, too, Chim,” Buck said dryly, not even bothering to look at the guy. “And I would have caught up one way or another,  _ hotshot _ .”

“Buck,” Cap said, sternly. “Put your stuff away, then you’re finishing inventory with Hen.” Buck could see Bobby trying to get the room back under his control. He respected that about the man, Bobby knew how to calm everyone down and defuse situations.

“Yea, no prob, Cap.”

**********

_ “9-1-1. What’s your emergency?” _

_ “Help… can’t breathe…” _

_ “I can’t hear you. Did you say you can’t breathe?” _

_ “777 Detroit Avenue. It’s choking me.” _

_ “I have the fire department on the way. Who is choking you? Do you know him?” _

_ “My snake…” _

**********

Hen shook her head as she watched this kid she had grown fond of act like a fool on the snake woman call. She had argued that they should call Animal Control, but Buck had to be the macho man and chop the innocent animal’s head off. And to make matters weirder, the woman who kept the snake didn’t even seem phased by it, but only phased by the tall handsome firefighter with a dumb smile on his face. 

Hen sat up on the upper level of the station at her regular table and watched the fire engine slowly back into the station and only one person left the truck -- Evan Buckley. She shook her head in disbelief. Didn’t he know how idiotic and irresponsible that was? Hen wasn’t concerned about her giving him the reaming of a lifetime, it looked like Bobby was already going to take care of that. The Cap was walking up to Buck with some fire in his step. Once Buck saw he’d been caught, his happy looking expression and bright eyes fell. Hen couldn’t hear Bobby, but based on the new expression coming from Buck and the nearby firefighters who had moved in to take care of the engine, it wasn’t a pleasant talk.

Bobby turned and walked away from a dejected-looking Buck. Buck slowly shut the truck door behind him and headed towards the locker room. Hen got up and headed down the stairs to assess the damage. She was about halfway down the stairs when she saw Chimney headed towards the locker room. “Uh-uh, Chim. Where do you think you’re going?” she asked loudly, just to be sure he could hear her. 

Chim stopped in his tracks, looking up at her. “I’m gonna go make sure the idiot’s handling everything okay.”

Hen just shook her head as she reached the bottom of the stairs. “After what happened with you two earlier,” she started. “I think you probably aren’t the one that needs to be in there.” Chim sighed, looking down for a quick second, before turning around and waving his hand up in a sign of submission. Hen smirked and turned the corner to the locker room, seeing Buck was seated on the bench. If he noticed she had entered, he didn’t acknowledge her. She walked around slowly and sat herself down next to him. “Hey, Buckaroo. How we doing?”

He was looking down at the base of the lockers, the back of his neck flush, probably from shame and embarrassment. “Hen, I messed up,” he spoke quietly, as if not wanting to raise any anger or something from her. “I really don’t want to hear it.”

Hen nodded. She understood what he meant. No one continually wants to be reminded about how they messed up. But she wasn’t just gonna let the dork sit here in self-pity. “Okay. What did Bobby say?”

Buck sighed out loud. “Two weeks suspension. For reckless behavior and misusing equipment.” He started to rub his ring finger on his right hand, where Hen could see the ever-fading tan line. Hen could tell Buck was doing that as some sort of coping strategy. 

“Misusing equipment?” Hen could only start to imagine what he could have used the truck for when the image came to her head. “Oh, Buck,” she tilted her head back, eyes rolling to the side. “Who was so important you had to take a fire engine to go see?”

Buck was quiet for a few seconds. “Jesse. The lady we responded to with the pet snake.”

“Really? Snake lady is your type?”

“Well, to be fair,” Buck chuckled. “My type is pretty extensive and broad.”

Hen laughed, picking up on his subtle joke. “I know, Buck.” Buck turned to her, skepticism in his expression. His birthmark on the opposite side of his face seemed to only darken his facial expression even more with the fading light outside. “Buck, I have a wife. I have a finely tuned sense for picking up on this sorta thing.” Hen readjusted her position on the bench, trying to make sure Buck wasn’t uncomfortable with anything. “Look, if you’re not wanting to tell everyone you’re bi or pan or whatever you want to define yourself as, awesome. But you have a friend here who knows a thing or two.”

Buck smiled at her. “Yeah, I’m not using my sexuality as my defining mark. I’m not hiding it, it’s just not relative.” He seemed to relax, the tension fading away in his shoulders. 

“So, why’d you do it?” Hen questioned.

“I don’t know. No, I do,” Buck corrected himself. “I liked the attention. Not from you guys here at work, but from those who aren’t here with us. I like people looking at me like I’m a hero.”

“Uh-huh, and the sex? That’s a benefit?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, I’m not gonna complain about the sex.”

Hen rolled her eyes at the blatant idiocracy in the kid’s tone. “Buck…” 

“Yeah, I know!” Buck exclaimed, sitting up straight. “I should have done that on my own time and my own vehicle. Bobby already grilled me for that. I’m not gonna do it again.” Hen smiled slightly as she heard him say that, hoping he’d keep that promise. But she could tell there was something else going on with him, something deeper. She decided not to press too hard, too far in this brief interaction. Maybe another time. 

The alarm rang out as a line from dispatch radioed in, informing the 118 about the call. Hen groaned at the sound, this had been a long day and they were so close to the end of their shift, yet duty called. She stood and started to leave the room when Buck said “good luck” from behind her.

She stopped and stared back at him. “Uh-uh, pretty boy. Your suspension starts tomorrow.” He looked up, a smile on his face and raced after her.

**********

Buck walked into the apartment with a huff. His muscles hurt and the soles of his feet were aching. He needed a hot shower, hot meal and long, deep sleep. He took off his shoes and headed towards his room when he saw Maddie sitting on the couch, staring at him. “Hi, Evan.”

Buck sighed, a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion. He definitely didn’t want to have this talk right now. But he knew his sister wouldn’t just let him leave without talking “Hi,” he greeted, letting his exhaustion seep into his tone. He took a seat on the chair that sat next to Maddie’s position on the couch. He didn’t say anything, Buck knew Maddie would want the first word.

“You didn’t come home last night,” she said, softly. “Or even just text me. I thought that we had a system in place, dude.” Maddie looked at him, letting him see her grief and worry in her expression.

Buck nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry. I figured I didn’t need to let you know. I told you I probably wasn’t coming back last night.”

“You did not say that,” Maddie shot at him. “You said, “Don’t wait up.” Big difference, Evan. That implies your coming home.”

“Why do I have to tell you?” Buck shot back. “You’re not Mom! If I want to go out and have fun, I can!”

Maddie moved from her sitting position to her barely-keeping-it-contained position, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Okay, I understand! But after everything that’s happened, I feel like you shouldn’t be out there alone!”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine! I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself!”

“And what would happen if  _ he  _ came to find you? And I had no idea where you were?” Maddie had tears welling in her eyes as she stood to stare down her brother. “Evan, what would I do then?”

Buck went silent, glaring at his sister. He knew all too well what she meant. “Please don’t bring him into this,” he just whispered, throat closing up fast, tears slowly finding their way to his own eyes. “I came here to start my own life!” Buck practically jumped to his feet, now a head taller than Maddie, his own volume rising again to meet hers. “I have the right to live my own life! To not be scared I’ll see my ex down the road and fear for what that means!”

“I know, Evan! And I want that for you so badly,” Maddie took a step towards Buck, but he simply moved back the same distance she moved forward. “But I don’t think being a reckless fool is gonna bring you that happiness you’re looking for.” 

Buck shook his head, trying to just end this conversation. So he decided he was gonna do just that. He took the final steps towards his room, grabbed a change of clothes and turned around again to make for the bathroom, only to find Maddie had followed him over here and was standing in the doorframe, blocking his escape. “Maddie, please…”

“No, Buck. I know you probably don’t want to talk about this but you have to realize I’m right,” Maddie practically pleaded.

“I DO!” Buck yelled before dropping to his knees. Maddie was on the ground next to him instantly, her hands finding their way to his shoulders as if to hold him up. “I understand more than you could ever know,” Buck sobbed. “I just want my life to be normal already.”

Maddie swallowed the bile that had gathered in her throat and leaned into her brother to wrap her arms around him in a hug. “I know, bub, I know.” Buck leaned into her and placed his head on her shoulder, having to lean down a little due to the height difference and just sobbed quietly. 

“I’m sorry how I treated you last night,” he hiccuped between his sobs. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I kinda did,” Maddie argued. “You had the right to know that I was having Howie over.”

“He goes by Chimney.”

Maddie laughed into her brother’s shoulder. “I know.”

“I got suspended today. Two weeks.”

Maddie sighed heavily and her eyes drifted up to the ceiling. “Why?”

“Being a reckless fool.”

Maddie pulled away from Buck and wiped away the last few tears that were on his face. “Okay. Well, maybe in these two weeks, we can find you your own place.”

Buck looked at his sister. “Really? You wouldn’t be upset?”

She shook her head. “I don’t like you being alone, but you’re right.” Buck looked at her with his classic ‘what’ face. “You deserve a chance to live your own life. One that doesn’t have us living in the same place again.”

“Oh please, I was the greatest thing about home for you.”

Maddie tilted her head and gave him the ‘really?’ look. “Yeah, but I didn’t think we’d be living together until you were thirty!”

“I’m only twenty-six.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit unsure about writing the club scene and the scene at the end, those are defiantly areas where I feel my writing could improve, so please don't judge too harsh (or do it's up to you). Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed this chapter! I have loved reading your other ones and your support means so much to me!
> 
> ALSO: after tonight's amazing episode I can finally start on the Eddie begins tag! And I love Ryan Guzman and every single character he's ever portrayed so freaking much he deserves a great intro


	4. A Whole New Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this update took so long. I have had it planned and somewhat written out but I got smacked in the face with writer's block and didn't know what to do.
> 
> Also, this chapter has to do with suicide (the one the team responded to in 1x02 at the roller coaster)

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Only it really wasn’t like a simple beep for Buck as his alarm screamed at him to get up. Buck leaned over and smacked the snooze button, hoping to buy himself some more time to sleep. He settled back down into his bed and pulled the covers back over him and closed his eyes again. His eyes, however, snapped open when he felt someone’s arm reach over his torso and pull him closer. Buck tilted his head to see who the arm belonged to. A very handsome Latino man was snuggled into Buck’s side, breathing softly. The memories came back to Buck at once - well, some of them, at least. He had met this handsome man at a bar last night after having a little too much to drink.

After another few minutes of lying there, Buck decided that he probably wasn’t going to get any more sleep than he already had gotten, he carefully moved the guy’s arm off his chest and slipped out of bed. Turning the alarm completely off, Buck made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the coming day. Afterward, Buck got into his uniform and headed down the stairs to his kitchen. Today was his first day back after the suspension. Buck made coffee for two people rather than just himself, as he wanted it known that he was a gracious host. Who he wanted to know that alluded him, but still. 

Buck sat down at the island in the middle of his kitchen as he sipped the bitter coffee. He smiled into his mug as he took in his new apartment. Maddie had helped him find this place about a week ago and Buck was just happy as hell to have his own place now. Buck’s attention was drawn to the second floor where his bed was as he heard the telltale sound of someone waking up. Latino man’s head popped up above the railing and Buck nodded at him to come downstairs and join him. Latino man walked down the stairs only in a pair of blue jeans, but Buck didn’t mind. He enjoyed watching the morning light seep through the windows and bounce off of the guys chiseled abs. The guy walked around the island and stopped in front of Buck, placing his hands on Buck’s hips. “Well, I do enjoy a man in uniform,” he said in a husky, sleepy voice.

Buck smiled and leaned forward for a kiss, slipping his arms around the man’s neck. “I made you some coffee,” Buck smiled into the guy’s lips.

“I’m gonna need it. Why would you want to work a job that requires you to get up at freaking 6:30 a.m.?”

Buck laughed as he dropped his arms to grab the other mug for him. “I don’t know,” Buck chuckled. “I enjoy the adventure of it.”

The guy laughed and grabbed the cup. “Buck, the adventurous firefighter.” He took a sip of the coffee and sucked in a quick breath. “Hot.”

“Me or the coffee?” Buck laughed, curious to see where this conversation was headed. 

“Both.” 

“Well, also the whole saving lives thing,” Buck quickly added to his previous answer. “That’s an important part of the job, too. Requires me to get up early after a good night’s sleep.”

Latino Man laughed quietly. “Well, we didn’t do a lot of sleeping last night.”

Buck felt his ears warm and he could tell he was blushing, jaw dropping a smidge as a result of the comment. “Wow! Okay!”

“Anyway, I should probably get going as well,” Latino Guy said. “I should probably take a shower and change before  _ I  _ have to go to work.”

“Smart idea.”

Letting go of Buck’s hips, Latino Guy leaned up against the counter and brought his mug up to his lips for a long sip. Turning back to Buck, he held out his hand. “Can I see your phone, good sir?” he asked.

Buck tilted his head to the side slightly, slightly wary. “Why?” he chuckled, not wanting to throw the guy off or to be rude.

“I want you to have my number, in case we have the chance to do this again,” Latino Guy explained. Buck nodded and handed him the cell. After putting in his number, Latino Guy handed the phone back. Buck looked down to see the new contact labeled as “Nicolás”. At least Buck knew his name now and wouldn’t have to refer to him as “Latino Guy”. Setting the coffee mug down, Nicolás reached over to Buck’s hand and squeezed it softly. “Thanks for the coffee.” Nicolás leaned over and pecked Buck on the cheek. “Did you also make Kara a cup?”

Buck stopped moving altogether, confused as to who the hell Nicolás was referring to. “Who--?” 

“Buck! What time is it?” Buck’s head snapped back up towards the stairs, trying to locate the very feminine voice that came from there. A short blond woman with some crazy bedhead, wearing a shirt that was too big, Buck assumed one of his, was walking down the stairs. “I smell coffee,” the woman - Kara - pouted still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Nicolás laughed softly before kissing Buck’s cheek again. “I’ve got to go,” he said. Buck nodded, still shocked that he had no memory of Kara until now, slightly embarrassed.

**********

Buck practically ran into the open doors of the 118’s station, excited as hell to get back to work. He had dropped Kara off at her car that was still at the club, which was thankfully on the way. Buck wasn’t surprised to see the place practically empty, as he had gotten there about 30 minutes before his shift. After leaving his stuff in the locker room and a quick change, he noticed Bobby and Chim in the gym area. He walked over to the two, smile plastered on his face. “Hi, guys!”

Both men stopped lifting the weights they had in their hands and turned to Buck. Chimney gave him a sour look but nodded at him nonetheless. Bobby smiled at him, however. “Buck! Welcome back. Ready for the day?” 

Buck walked over to the bench press and started loaded on weights. “Hell, yeah!” Buck smiled as he added another plate to the bar. “I’ve been so bored at home. I have been craving to get back in the action.”

Buck noticed Chim mutter something, but he was too far away for Buck to pick up any coherent sentences. Ignoring the man, Buck laid back on the bench and started pumping the bar that was above him. “So,” he breathed out, as he lifted the weight up and away from him, “what did I miss these last two weeks?”

“Not too much,” Bobby huffed, resuming his own workout. “Buck, that seems like a lot of weight, do you want a spotter?”

Buck grunted as he finished out his first rep. He wanted to put on more weight, push himself even more, but he decided against it as Bobby would probably come over whether Buck wanted him to or not. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks anyway.”

“Well, I’m going upstairs,” Chimney said, setting down his weights in a huff.

Once he was gone, Buck turned towards Bobby. “What’s his deal?” Bobby shrugged, clearly showing that he knew, but didn’t seem like he was gonna let Buck know. Buck gave a short, exasperated sigh and sat back down on the bench to finish his workout. 

**********

_ “9-1-1. What’s your emergency?” _

_ “Oh, my God. Some guy just got thrown off the roller coaster! He’s just lying on the ground. He’s not moving! Send an ambulance!” _

**********

“Devon, how we doing?” Buck asked, securing his own line to the bar, leaning over the side, lowering the safety harness down to the man who was hanging out of a roller coaster cart. 

“It’s gonna be everywhere!” Devon screamed, confusing Buck on what exactly he was talking about. “It’s gonna be all over the place!”

Buck followed where Devon was looking - a crowd of people had gathered around the base of the coaster and had their phones out, probably recording the situation and taking photos. Great, Buck hated people like that. “Forget about them. ‘Kay? Don’t look down, look up at me.” Pushing the harness towards Devon, Buck shuffled down the rail a bit more. “See this strap here? I need you to reach up your arm and put it through.”

“I can’t!”

“Yes, you can!” Worry started to creep into Buck’s body. “You can, buddy. You can do it.”

“Can you tell them to stop?” Devon asked, clearly focused on the wrong thing in the situation in Buck’s opinion. “Stop recording, please! I don’t want anyone to see me like this!”

“Devon,” Buck’s anxiety starting to take a firmer grasp, “I need you to concentrate. Slide your arm through the loop and we can deal with everything else.” Devon didn’t move at all. “Okay,” Buck said, moving around and lowering his hand down for Devon to grab. “Reach up your hand. Come one, it’s like three inches.” Buck tried shimming down, even more, finding it harder and harder to have a solid and secure foothold. “You can do this, I got you.”

Devon looked up, met Buck’s eyes, and Buck saw something he dreaded. “Devon, I need you to trust me.” Buck was practically begging now. “Give me your hand. I will not let you go.” Devon looked away. And it felt like an eternity.

“I can’t.”

And the next thing Buck knew, Devon was falling through the air. Buck heard the loud, metallic  _ bang _ , but he couldn’t process it. Buck started gasping for air, staring at Devon, stories below on the ground.

**********

Buck sat at the table in the station, looking down at the plate of food that Bobby had made him. But it didn’t seem Buck had much of an appetite. Hen sat across the table from him, a sad, but understanding expression on her face. She and Chim had wheeled away the one kid who had died before they arrived at the amusement park under Bobby’s orders while Buck had made the climb up to the cart and had to talk with the other kid. That didn’t end well. None of it was his fault. Hen knew that, but she was worried that Buck didn’t. 

“Buck!” Bobby called out from behind the island, still making plates for the rest of the station. “You love my cooking. And you always have a big appetite.” Hen knew that Bobby was just trying to get Buck out of his head, but when Buck’s only response was a grunt. 

Hen looked over at Bobby and he met her gaze. Their boy was hurting, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Though they couldn’t blame him. Hen was sure everyone in the station could remember the first time they had lost someone on the job. 

Buck stood from the table and grabbed the plate. Walking over to the sink, he set it down and thanked Bobby. Hen could hear Bobby say something Buck, but nothing for certain. She watched the two men walk down the stairs and head for Bobby’s office. She finished her meal and took her plate to the sink and washed it off before heading to her normal spot on the couch. A few minutes later, her attention was drawn back downstairs as she heard the door of Bobby’s office close. Buck was headed towards the locker room and Bobby coming up the stairs. Chim stopped whatever he was doing and Hen looked up at Bobby once he made it up to the top. Not saying anything, Bobby started to wash the dishes in the sink. 

“So,” Chim said, dragging out the ‘o’. “What’s the deal?”

“Buck’s taking the rest of the shift off,” Bobby said as if that was obvious.

Hen didn’t speak up, she clearly understood why. Chim, however, didn’t keep his mouth shut. “Why? Because we lost the guy? Buck needs to learn to roll with the punches.”

Hen looked at her friend, disbelief forcing her mouth to drop. He didn’t really just say that, did he? “Chimeny,” she started, “how can you say that? Especially after everything you’ve been through?”

“I’m not trying to be mean or cold,” Chim took a step back, raising his hands in defense, “But if Pretty Boy wants to be a fighter, he’s gonna have to learn.”

“But he has to learn, Chim,” Bobby said, setting down the plate he was washing. “How do you expect him to “roll with the punches” if he can’t take the time he needs to process everything?” When Bobby used the air quotes, Hen was surprised. Bobby never did anything like that.

Chimney scoffed, looking at Bobby with what looked like anger. “My bad, Cap. Just figured that your new perfect pupil would’ve already had it taken care of.”

“What is your problem with Buck?”

Hen could tell if this situation wasn’t resolved soon, this was gonna be bad. She hopped to her feet. “Hey, boys, calm down.”

Ignoring her, Chim kept on facing Bobby. “Oh, you wanna know?” He was practically challenging Bobby. “He’s reckless as hell, he hides things from us, which doesn’t make him very trustworthy. He treats Maddie like crap!”

“Chim, calm down.”

“No! He’s entitled and will probably get someone killed!” Chim was practically screaming. He was definitely drawing attention from pretty much everyone else in the station. 

“That’s enough!” Bobby slammed his hand down on the counter, so loud that it made Hen jump. This was new territory. Bobby never raised his voice to where it was now. Never hit anything, not even as simple as a table counter. “I haven’t made Buck’s time here easier than anyone else’s, so don’t say that he’s had it easy either, Chimney.”

“But you have defended him more times than not,” Chimney retorted. 

“I  _ just  _ suspended him two weeks ago!”

“Whatever. If you’re gonna let Buck go, guess I’m going to.” With that, Chimney headed for the stairs. 

“Chim!” Hen exclaimed as she was reeling slightly from the exchange that just happened in front of her. The station was unbearably quiet except for the sound of Chimney’s angry footfalls. It seemed as if everyone was holding their breath for the next outburst. “Cap?” Looking towards Bobby, Hen was astounded with what was happening.

Bobby was watching Chim as he left. “Let him go, he’ll be back tomorrow with a clear head.”

Hen just stood at the railing, hoping Bobby was right.

*********

Chim got into his car, pissed. But he was also ashamed. He knew he was wrong, but  _ damn  _ he was angry. Why he was mad at Evan Buckley, he couldn’t say. The kid just rubbed him the wrong way. Putting the key into the ignition, the engine roared to life. Pulling out onto the road and driving away from the station, Chim vowed to himself that he’d apologize to Bobby tomorrow. But tonight, he’d allow himself to be angry. Slamming his foot down on the accelerator, he allowed the adrenaline to take over.

**********

_ “9-1-1. What is your emergency?” _

_ “...can you… I’m in my car.” _

_ “Sir, I can’t understand you, could you speak louder, please?” _

_ “Send help… I was in a car accident.” _

**********

Buck pulled the car into his typical parking space at his apartment complex. Feeling numb and exhausted after the whole day, he exited his Jeep. Walking slowly up the stairs to his place, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Seeing a notification on it, he opened it up to see a text from Hen. All it read was “ _ it’ll get better _ ”. Buck swallowed hard, his emotions roaring to life again and coming in  _ hard _ . 

Rushing into his apartment, Buck sank to the ground against the door, a sob escaping his lips. Why hadn’t Devon reached for his hand? He was so close. All he had to do was reach up. It wasn’t but two weeks ago that Buck realized he hoped he’d never lose someone the way Bobby had on the job, but apparently he didn’t get that. 

Realizing what was happening, Buck pulled himself off the floor and started scrolling through his contact list before clicking on the one he was hoping for. “Hey,” he said into the phone, “can you come over?”

About twenty minutes later, Buck heard a knock on the front door. Opening it, he was met face-to-face with  Nicolás. “Hey --” Buck was cut short as Nicolás roughly slammed his lips onto Buck’s. Buck gave in for a little, savoring the affection that was being given to him. He quickly regained his composure though and pulled back. “Hey, I loved that, but that’s not why I wanted you to come over.”

Nicolás looked confused but nodded. Buck led him up the stairs to his bedroom and laid down, pulling Nicolás down with him. Buck snuggled into Nicolás’ chest as he wrapped his arms around Buck. “What’s going on, man?”

Buck swallowed the little bit of bile that had gathered in his throat. “I lost my first person today,” he whispered. Buck could feel Nicolás tense and slowly release him. 

“I’m so sorry, man,” Nicolás said softly, sitting up. Buck nodded, reaching for Nicolás’ hands, needing to be held just for some comfort. However, Nicolás stayed a little out of reach. “But, I can’t be that guy for you.”

Buck looked at the handsome man, not really knowing how to process what he had just said. “What do you mean?”

“Buck, I like messing around with you, but I’m not the kind of guy who is into this kind of thing.”

“What kind of thing? Just being here?” Buck asked, fear and anxiety rushing in. “You don’t have to say anything or even hear about anything! I just need someone here.”

Nicolás looked at the floor before standing up, a look of shame passing over his face. “Sorry. I can’t be that someone.” And with that, he turned and walked down the stairs. Buck heard the door close as he knew that meant Nicolás had left the apartment.

Leaning back down and sucking in a deep breath, Buck knew one thing at that moment. He was alone. Tears gathered in his eyes and he started to quietly sob. He hated crying. It’s not that crying made him feel weak and he definitely didn’t believe the whole “men don’t cry” thing, but Buck just wished he had a different outlet than crying. Buck laid in bed, not moving for what seemed like only a matter of minutes only to hear the text notification go off on his phone, which told him that a few hours had passed by. Hoping to see a message from Nicolás, he was slightly disappointed when he saw Hen’s name again. This text was entirely different than the one from earlier, however. This one simply read “ _ Get to the hospital. Now. Chim had an accident. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, (or at least defend myself I guess) I know Buck doesn't need someone else to project his feelings on like he did with OC Nicolás, but I think we can all agree on Buck being a physical touch kinda guy. 
> 
> I have a plan for the next chapter, so hopefully, that will be posted in the next few days. And I love reading the comments and seeing the kudos, it inspires me to keep writing. Keep leaving feedback, I appreciate it so much!!


	5. Moving On (Or Trying To)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own 9-1-1, just using it to practice my craft.

Bobby had hated hospitals since he sat at Marcy’s bedside as she and heir children slowly succumbed to their wounds from that fateful night in Minnesota years ago. The smell of the chemicals and medicines used made Bobby nauseous and the walls made every sound reverb and echo to an uncomfortable pitch. He really hated hospitals mainly because every time he was in one, there was a loved one of his fighting for their lives laying in a bed. Today was no different.

Bobby looked at Chimney laying on the bed with bandages wrapped around his head with a breathing tube down his throat. The doctors and surgeons did what they could and honestly, Bobby was very impressed with the job they had done. But there was no guarantee that Chim would even wake up and that scared Bobby. He didn’t want his last interaction with Chimney to be his final one. He didn’t want that on his list of regrets. 

Moving on from the darker thoughts that were polluting his headspace, Bobby looked around the small room. His fiance had disappeared along with Hen, leaving only Karen on the other side of Chim’s bed reading a magazine from the table. Bobby cleared his throat in an attempt to get her attention. She looked up, startled, and immediately looked at Chim, only to realize it was Bobby. Karen offered a small smile. “Hey, Bobby. Welcome back.”

Bobby gave her a confused look. “What’s that mean?”

Karen chuckled a little and motioned to the clock above the door behind them. “You’ve been staring off into space for the last forty-five minutes.”

Bobby made a small ‘o’ with his mouth, surprised it had been that long. “So, then,” he started, now that that was taken care of, “where’re the lovely ladies of our lives?”

“They went to get coffee. Athena asked if you wanted anything but you didn’t respond.”

Bobby nodded. “Yeah, sounds like me.” Now that the time situation had been sorted out, Bobby was noticing the lack of a human-sized Golden Retriever. “Any news as to where Buck is?”

Karen shook her head. “Hen texted him when we got the call, but no one’s heard from him that I know of.”

Bobby shook his own head in disbelief as he began processing everything that his team had been through in the past 36 hours. Buck had his first majorly traumatic experience on the job, the team’s relationship had been stretched and strained, and now Chimney laid in the place between life and death. What a messed up situation. At times, he questioned why people, including himself, would voluntarily put themselves through a career like this. Around that time, a firm hand grasped his shoulder. Looking up, Bobby saw his future wife holding a cup of coffee. She offered him a soft smile and compassionate eyes. Bobby smiled at her and leaned forward and kissed her hand. ‘ _ Thank God for you _ ,’ Bobby thought to himself as he held onto Athena’s hand. 

The group sat in relative silence as the sounds of the monitors in the room beeped, reminding them that their friend was indeed still alive - for now.

**********

Athena sat next to Bobby, now hand-in-hand, as she lazily and uninterestedly flipped through a magazine she picked up. Karen and Hen had left about ten minutes ago, having to go pick Denny up from the babysitters. Athena turned the page, noticing every little nervous and anxious tick in her fiance’s hand and pulse. Was she worried about his mental state? Oh, yes. But Athena knew Bobby was a fighter and could be reasoned with. She was sure that Bobby probably blamed himself for the circumstances of the accident, but that would have to be a conversation for a later time. 

Bored with reading about celebrity gossip, she threw the magazine to the side table. Pulling out her phone, she read a text from May, asking when they’d be home for dinner. Athena didn’t respond right away. She knew that Bobby would insist that someone should stay with Chimney in case he woke. Bobby was the kind of guy that refused to leave his teammates in a weak and vulnerable state if they were by themselves with no family. Bobby and Hen had attempted to Skype Chimney’s family in Korea with no success. 

Athena was drawn from her thoughts as she heard sharp footfalls from out in the hallway. Turning her head, Athena saw a short dark-haired woman practically run into the room, red-eyed from crying probably. Releasing, her hand, Bobby stood and approached the woman who stared at Chim with more tears gathering in her eyes. “Miss? Can I help you?” he inquired.

“I - uh,” she started, clearly shocked as if the reality of the situation was suddenly real for her. “I came to see Howie.” Athena narrowed her eyes at the stranger. She had said “Howie”, not “Chimney” or “Chim”. Athena had no clue who this woman was in front of her, yet she was so familiar. Looking at Bobby, she whipped her hand out, looking for a handshake. “I’m Maddie,” she introduced herself. “I’m a friend of Howie’s.”

“Maddie, there you are,” a familiar voice came from behind her. “I lost you for a second.” Buck’s large frame came into view behind Maddie. “Hi, Bobby,” he greeted, “Athena.” When his eyes came to rest on Chim, Buck’s shoulders drooped and his eyes darkened. Athena rose from her seat and walked up to Buck who had stepped around Maddie and into the room. She reached her arms up to take in the boy for a hug. Buck let out a long sigh into her shoulder and Athena could literally feel the anxiety and stress in the boy’s back as she rubbed her arm up and down in an attempt to comfort him. Bobby had briefly mentioned what had happened to the kid on shift today. What Athena only imagined she would do to take away Buck’s pain shocked her as she had only known the kid for a few months. He didn’t deserve all of this after everything he’s been through. 

Athena released Buck as he moved on to hug Bobby while she moved on towards Maddie. “You must be Buck’s amazing sister,” she opened her arms to embrace Maddie as well. “I’ve heard good things about you, Buckette.”

Maddie chuckled in Athena’s arms. “If they’re comments from Buck, they’re probably not true.”

The girl had a sense of humor for sure, Athena was happy to see that. She heard Buck make some sort of noise from behind her, probably in defiance from Maddie’s claim. Letting Maddie go, she turned back towards the two men behind her, who were still embraced in a hug. Yep, both had to be huge physical touch people. “I’m sorry we’re late, Cap,” came Buck’s muffled voice from Bobby’s shoulder. “When I got the news I had to go get Maddie. Didn’t think anyone would’ve thought to get ahold of her.”

Bobby nodded as he pulled back from the hug. “Not a problem. You’re here now and you’ve brought Chim more needed support.” -

Maddie had moved from her spot in the doorway to Chim’s side, slowly moving her hand through the tuft of hair on his head that wasn’t covered by the gauze on his head. Athena was slowly becoming more aware of an unspoken affection between Chimney and Maddie. 

“What happened?” Buck’s strained voice came from her side. 

“After you left, we - uh, got into a bit of an argument,” Bobby said, exhaustion seeping through his tone. “He left the station and was in a car wreck and a piece of rebar flew through his skull.”

Buck was silent for a few seconds. “How is he even alive?”

Bobby shrugged. “He’s the luckiest and unluckiest son of a bitch alive, for sure. Somehow the shock and adrenaline kept him stable long enough for him to get here.”

The three standing at the door found their way to the seats in the room, while Maddie remained standing by Chim’s side. Bobby had placed his hand on Buck’s back and was rubbing circles along it as he would do with Harry when Harry was stressed. Athena stared silently as she marveled at what an amazing father figure Bobby was. 

A few minutes later, Bobby started to slow down his movements along the younger man’s back as Athena could tell Bobby was starting to hit his limit. Standing, and slightly startling everyone in the room, she announced she needed to get Bobby home for food and rest. To her surprise, Bobby didn’t retaliate. He just looked at Buck and made him promise that they wouldn’t leave Chimney alone in case he woke up. 

“Okay. I’ll stay with him for as long as I can,” Buck said.

With that, Athena grabbed Bobby’s hand and headed for the door. “Goodbye, Chim, we love you. Bye, Buck and Buckette.”

Buck waved as they walked out, but Maddie didn’t react.

**********

Buck sat at Chimney’s bedside a few days after the accident. The group had worked out a schedule for people to come and spend time with Chim, so there’d be someone here when he woke up hopefully. Buck rubbed his head, already a bit bored. He understood the importance of someone being here but at this point, Buck was questioning if they needed to adjust the schedule for longer breaks in-between visits. Chim wasn’t showing any new progress and was still in a coma.

Pulling out his phone, Buck opened one of the dating apps on it, in an attempt to pass the time. Swiping through the profiles on it, Buck found that he was actually reading the bio’s and not just looking through the photos. When he swiped left on one guy, the next profile was of a young woman who looked to be around his age. Reading her bio, Buck learned that Alison was a businesswoman who had just moved to LA and was looking for a “friend” to help her get used to the scene of LA. Now, that seemed like a perfect job for Buck. Smiling, he swiped right. His phone gave a little chime when he read that they had matched. Perfect.

**********

Two days later, Buck told Bobby and Hen about the date that he and Ali (she liked to go by Ali, he found out) had set up. He only told them about the date however, not everything else that would hopefully come with the relationship. Honestly, Buck was a lot more excited than he would’ve liked to admit. The last time Buck had felt like this, well, was his honeymoon with Doug. One of the last good times in their relationship. 

Both Bobby and Hen seemed ecstatic for Buck. Bobby promised he’d help Buck get ready beforehand and even pulled a favor to get Buck a reservation at a really fancy restaurant. Hen just gave Buck a lot of crap and teased him about how every time that Ali would text him, he’d get a little flushed. Buck didn’t mind, it reminded him of Maddie teasing him when he started dating back in high school. 

Later that evening, after their shift had ended, Buck and Bobby stood in the locker room, with the older man helping the younger one with his tie. Buck was decked out in a suit and everything. “So, I should not sleep with her tonight?” Buck asked Bobby, fully knowing that Boby suspected that Buck might have a sex addiction. ‘ _ Oh, Bobby _ ,’ Buck thought. ‘ _ If only you knew what Ali really wanted _ .’

“Correct,” the older man responded, “you should  _ not  _ have sex with her. Tonight.” The last part he added with a sly smile. “If you’re really interested in her, women like that deserve a little chivalry.”

“Chivalry,” Buck smiled. “Okay! I like that. And don’t be a dick.”

Bobby rolled his eyes. “You know, Buck, I think if you focus on the first part, the second part will take care of itself.”

Chucking, Buck turned to look in the mirror one last time before heading out. “How do I look, Pops?”

“You look really handsome.”

**********

An hour later, Buck sat across from Ali, who was wearing a dark blue dress and had on a beautiful silver necklace that Buck swore made her eyes sparkle. The two hadn’t actually ordered anything yet as they had been talking and getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal level. Buck was actually really happy to be able to connect with someone that didn’t result immediately in sex. 

“Buck, how in the world did you get us a reservation here?” Ali asked, still marveling and taking in the restaurant. “This place is amazing!”

Buck laughed, finding her curiosity adorable and charming. “Bobby - my captain back at the station - hooked us up. He and the owner go way back.” Leaning forward, he motioned for her to do the same. “Turns out, they had to clean up a noxious gas leak in here a few years ago.” Ali made a sour face and Buck laughed. “Just don’t breathe the air, you’ll be good.”

Ali used both of her hands to cover her mouth and nose. “Like this?”

Buck laughed louder than he truly meant to and a waiter walked over with some wine. “Uhh… want some wine?” Buck really didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to flounder in front of Ali. She nodded and the waiter poured both of them a glass. 

Grabbing a piece of bread, Buck made a gesture to her as if to ask her if she wanted one. She shook her head and picked up her glass and took a sip. “Hmm. Tastes like wine to me,” she laughed. “Great choice, man. Cheers.”

Buck had barely chewed off a bite before chuckling hard at her comment. Raising his glass to meet hers, he tried to suppress a cough that had made its way into his throat. Buck started coughing a little harder. ‘ _ Cool it, dude. You are not choking in front of her _ ,’ he scolded himself.

“You okay?” Ali asked, concern peering through her voice. Picking up his water glass, Buck nodded. He took a sip, trying to dislodge whatever was stuck in his throat. However, another cough sent all the water from his mouth back out onto his plate and Buck reached for his throat, clawing at it as if that would help him. He looked up at Ali standing and yelling for someone to call 9-1-1 (ironic) as his vision started to blackout. 

*********

Maddie rushed through the doors of the emergency room after receiving a call from Captian Nash. She was beginning to think the men in her life were cursed. First Howie, now her brother. What the hell?

“Buckette!” A familiar voice rang out from Maddie’s left. Turning, Maddie saw both Captian Nash and Sargent Grant. Hen from the firehouse was also there, along with a cute blonde woman who was in a beautiful dress and dark jacket. Maddie walked over to the small group. Reaching her hand out to the other woman, she introduced herself. 

“Hi, I’m Maddie, Buck’s sister.”

“Ali. Buck and I were on a date.” Oh. Maddie didn’t realize Buck would’ve made plans to go out with someone before actually filing for divorce from Doug. She knew it had been on his mind, but she also knew that her brother had taken no steps towards that yet.

“Oh. Okay!” What was Maddie supposed to do? Act like Ali had no right to be there? She was probably the one who called 9-1-1. “What happened?” she asked as the group found their seats once more.

Ali took a quick breath as if she was still on edge after the whole situation. “He started to laugh at a joke I made while eating something. Oh God, it’s my fault he’s in here.”

Athena’s voice shook Maddie a little by surprise. “Oh, girl, no. Buck will wake up and tell you that was one of the funniest jokes he’s ever heard.” Maddie nodded her head in agreement. 

Ali nodded as well, but Maddie was sure she still blamed herself. “Yeah, then he passed out. I called 9-1-1, but he got worse. I didn’t think he was gonna make it before the ambulance showed. But the operator walked me through a field tracheotomy.”

Maddie nodded along, trying to stay positive. Evan had to be fine, he’s survived much worse than this. Placing her hand on Ali’s knee, she met the younger woman’s eyes. “Thank you,” she breathed. “You probably saved my brother’s life.”

Ali gave a small chuckle. “Isn’t that his job to save others?” Maddie smiled.

A few minutes later, a nurse walked up to the group, clipboard in hand. “Family of Evan Kendall?”

Maddie stood up and nodded, but not before taking in looks of shock and surprise from everyone else. Buck probably had introduced himself as Evan Buckley to them all. “That’s me, I’m his sister.” The nurse nodded at her and motioned for her to follow her. 

Away from the earshot of others, the nurse showed Maddie the paperwork that was on her clipboard. “Your brother is going to be fine.” Maddie took a deep sigh of relief. It felt like that was the first piece of good news she had heard in a long time. “We were able to fully retrieve and clear the blockage in his trachea, as well as fix up tracheotomy his date performed,” the nurse continued, motioning to the corresponding areas on the paper. “Evan is going to be held overnight and for the next few days while his throat heals.”

Maddie nodded. Instinctively, she reached her hand out for a pen to sign the paperwork the nurse had. When nothing happened in the next few moments, Maddie looked up to meet the nurse’s eyes. Maddie narrowed her own in suspension. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. You can’t sign these papers.”

Jaw gaped open slightly, Maddie made a short step back. “Why not? He’s my brother and I’m his emergency contact!”

The nurse nodded understandingly, but still didn’t offer her a writing utensil. “Unfortunately, you’re not on his insurance. Only the contact on there can sign off, and according to this,” she lifted her clipboard to read the papers more carefully, “it says that that person is a ‘Doug Kendall’.”

Maddie was shocked. “No,” she whispered, weakly. “No, you can’t contact Doug! He doesn’t know where Evan is and I don’t want him to know!”

The nurse gave her a very small, sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, I have to.”

When she turned to walk away, assumedly to call Doug, Maddie reached out and grabbed the nurse’s arm. “Wait, don’t call him yet, I’ll be right back.” Reluctantly, the nurse nodded.

Walking back over to Athena and the others, tears started to well in her eyes. She briefly explained the situation, trying her hardest to leave Doug out of it. Athena nodded and pulled off to the side, pulling out her phone. “I know someone who might be able to help us.” Placing the phone to her ear, Athena eyed the nurse who was waiting for an answer. “Carla,” she said into the receiver. “How quick can you get to First Memorial?”

**********

Buck opened his eyes - or at least tried to. His eyelids felt like they were made of lead. The first thing he noticed was how bright the room was. Must be in a hospital. Trying to clear his throat, Buck was met with a burning sensation. Gasping, he sat forward in a panic, clawing at his throat. “Evan! Evan, stop.” Who was that? Buck could see a blurry shape, but he couldn’t make out any details. The figure grasped his wrist in an effort to stop him from assaulting his own throat. “Take a deep breath,” the voice said. “In.” Buck inhaled. “Good. Now, out.” Exhale.

His vision started to clear and his gaze was met by a woman he had never seen before. She was dark-skinned, a little bigger, and had some big, curly hair. Buck gave the woman a confused look, trying to figure out who she was and where he was at. “Okay, big boy, don’t stress yourself out. I’m Carla, a friend of Athena and Bobby’s.” Buck opened his mouth in an attempt to ask where the hell he was, but before any words could be formed, Carla smacked her hand over his mouth softly. “No talking, Evan,” she said. “You need to let your throat heal.” 

Reaching up to his neck, Buck felt the gauze that was wrapped around it. Looking back at Carla with panicked eyes, Buck made a wild motion that could really only be interpreted as “ _ What the hell is going on? _ ”

Carla tilted her head slightly and puckered her lips a little. “What’s with the attitude?” Buck just stared at her, getting more and more frustrated. “Oh, alright. You had an accident in the restaurant with Ali.” Pause. “Do you remember?”

Buck blinked quickly as some of his memory started coming back. He had just asked Ali if she wanted some wine, he started to butter some bread, then he was choking. Feeling shame and embarrassment climb up the back of his neck, he nodded.

“Oh, sweetie,” Carla soothed, placing her hand on his back and rubbing it up and down. “It’ll be okay. You’ll have plenty of chance to make up the first date with that sweet girl.”

Buck daunted that. The first time he had enjoyed someone else’s company in who knows how long, of course it would end like this. Raising his hand a little, he got Carla’s attention, he made a small motion like he was writing. Picking up the hint, Carla walked outside of the room and came back with a marker and board. Handing it to him, Buck uncapped the marker and began to write out a message for her. The painkillers or anesthetic in his system wasn’t gone just yet and his handwriting looked like a two-year-old’s. “ _ Who are you? _ ”

“I’m Carla,” Carla said as if that wasn’t obvious. “I work mainly as a nurse or caretaker, but one thing I’m great at is cutting through bureaucratic red tape. Athena called me in to help you and your sister this evening.”

Using his wrist to erase the words on the board, Buck scribbled down some new ones. “ _ Help with what? _ ”

“Assigning primary insurance and who could sign off. You were labeled in the system as using your own private insurance rather than accepting the one provided by the fire department.” At the mention of the word  _ ‘insurance’ _ , Buck’s heart started pumping and he started to get anxious. He knew exactly what that meant. Doug would find him here and come get him. “Hey, hey, calm down.” Carla squeezed his forearm softly. “Doug isn’t coming here. He wasn’t notified. We got the insurance switched over.”

Buck threw his hands around the woman’s shoulder and breathed out hard, relieved to hear that. Carla pat him on the back. “He can’t get you here.”

Sitting back up, Buck grabbed the marker again and scribbled down more questions. “ _ Where’s Maddie? Athena/Bobby? Ali? _ ”

Passing the board back to Carla, she nodded when she saw the words. “Your sister is in the next room visiting someone named Howie. Athena and Bobby had to get back to work and Ali went home to change.”

Change? Did that mean she was coming back? As if on cue, Buck noticed a head of blonde hair poke through the doorway. “Can I come in?” Ali asked, hesitantly. Buck nodded, happy to see her. She had changed from her beautiful dress to simple athletic pants and a sweatshirt. Honestly, Buck thought she looked more attractive in her casual clothes. Setting her purse down, she heard over to the other side of Buck’s bed and gave him a tight hug. “I was worried,” she whispered into his ear. 

Carla chuckled softly and patted Buck on the back. “I’m gonna head out then, sweetie. I left my number with Maddie, have her call me if you need anything.” Buck nodded and mouthed ‘ _ thank you _ ’ to her as she gathered her belongings and left.

Turning back to Ali, Buck wrote on the board again. “ _ Why did you come back? _ ”

Ali scoffed a little at the writing. “Why wouldn’t I, dude?” Leaning forward, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I can’t explore LA without my guide.”

**********

A few days later, Buck had made his way to the neighboring room which belonged to Chimney. He sat in his usual chair, now scratching slightly at the bandage that was over the new scar he’d have after the accident. He had to stay another two days before he could be released and go back to work. Buck couldn’t wait for time to pass by. Ali had made a few stops to visit as had Maddie, Athena, Bobby, and Hen. It probably didn’t hurt that they could visit both him and Chim in one visit. He was finally allowed to talk, but not allowed to strain his voice too much. So he tried to make his time go quickly by talking to Chimney. It was mostly stories from high school Buck’s escapades, some stories from college, and even a few stories from Bucks time in South America as a bartender during his gap years. “What do you want to talk about today, man?” he asked, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get a response. “Bobby told me yesterday you said you couldn’t trust me because you didn’t know anything about me.” 

No response. 

“So what do you want to know?”

Nothing.

Looking down at his hand, he rubbed the ever-fading tan line of where his band used to be on his finger. “You probably want to know the story here, huh?” Buck swallowed. He hadn’t told anyone the full story. Maybe he could tell Chim, after all who was he gonna tell? “I left Doug four - almost five - months ago. I couldn’t keep up with appearances anymore. Couldn’t hide the bruises anymore.” Buck continued his story, tears gathering in his eyes, but he refused to let them drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ali/Buck is canon and we gonna ride this canon train as long as we can so the story flows nicely. Don't worry they won't be endgame, I refuse to do that to y'all.  
> Yea, I'm really sorry for the long wait. Life has been NUTS. but we here now, it's good. Also, I loved the finale much! I'm just big sad now that we have to wait til '21 for a new season of the firefam :( 
> 
> please leave a comment or kudos! thanks for the support!!


	6. A World Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet Eddie now :)

“Down!”

Staff Sargent Eddie Diaz ducked behind a large rock just in time as an RPG shell flew past his backside, threatening to detonate. It would’ve hit him if he hadn’t followed the lieutenant’s order. The harsh Afganistan sun beat down on Eddie and his squad as they were shooting back at the group of cloaked men who were firing Soviet styled AK’s at them. Their convoy had been traveling back to base when the IED went off. Not a moment passed before the gunfire had started. Eddie popped back up to lay down some suppressive fire while the wounded were being moved back to the armored trucks for treatment.

As soon as they were back, Eddie went to work. He was the platoon’s medic and damn if he was gonna lose anyone. Letting Private Reynolds take his spot, he moved towards the three soldiers who laid behind the cover of the middle truck. Assessing the damage, Eddie cursed under his breath. Corporal Edwards had a GSW in his shoulder, somehow it had made its way past the body armor. Franks and Jonson were both unresponsive, probably concussed, and knocked unconscious from the impact. This wasn’t good. Eddie reached for the sat phone on his hip, hitting the button to call the base. “This is Staff Sargent Diaz with Platoon Zeta-Six! We are pinned down about ten clicks east of base. About twenty hostels to the north of our position. Requesting air support and medical evac!” 

The phone buzzed with the horrifying sound of silence. Eddie’s heart nearly stopped. His darkest fear about Army life was coming true. He was gonna die out here. He wasn’t ever going to see his family again. Never see Shannon or his beautiful little boy again. 

“Affirmative, Staff Sargent. ETA, two minutes. Callsign: Tango-Two.”

“Gracias a Dios,” Eddie breathed out, before relaying the info to the rest of the platoon. Help was coming, they just had to survive another two minutes of this hell. Moving his attention back to Edwards, Eddie shed the man’s gear and grabbed his med pack off his backpack. Wrapping a basic tourniquet around the wound, Eddie started to apply more pressure. Edwards was gasping out in pain, but Eddie kept on pressing. If he let up, the man would bleed to death.

Then, silence. Eddie looked up and around and towards the others as they looked as confused as he was. No more gunshots could only mean one thing. “They’re flanking us!” shouted the lieutenant. “Watch your sixes and blindspots!”

Eddie barely had a chance to think before he spotted a boot that definitely wasn’t military issued step around the truck. Raising his rifle, Eddie took aim at the cloaked figure who revealed himself. Eddie pulled the trigger and the warzone erupted into chaos again. Hitting the button on his sat phone again, Eddie leaned in towards it. “Tango-Two, hostels have flanked our position and now are on the opposite side of the convoy. Do not fire! Repeat, do not fire!”

“Copy.”

Now what were they going to do? Eddie tried to think of something. Suddenly, the dumbest idea of his life popped into his head. “Reynolds! Get over here!” Once the obviously terrified Private made his way to Eddie, he revealed his plan only to be met with disbelieving eyes. “Hey!” Eddie shouted over the echoing sounds of automatic gunfire. “If you have a better plan, I’d love to hear it.” The Private shook his head. “Alright, grab Jonson, I’ve got Edwards and Franks.” 

Picking up the two wounded men was hard, but Eddie knew he was the stronger one between Reynolds and him. Reaching around once more, Eddie activated the sat phone. “Tango-Two, come in!”

“This is Tango-Two, entering your vicinity.” As on cue, a fighter jet screamed past the battle site.

“Fire on the middle convoy truck!”

“Affirmative.”

Standing, the stress and weight of two people on his shoulders weighing him down, he turned towards Reynolds. “Run! Lieutenant! Cover us and run!” The lieutenant did so, seeming to understand the situation perfectly. Eddie ran as fast as he could trying to put as much distance between him and the truck. Eddie felt a sharp, intense, and fire hot pain from his lower abdomen. Eddie grunted but kept on running as best as he could, even though he felt as if he was going to scream. The telltale scream of the jet’s engines roared back up in Eddie’s head as he could literally feel the payload being dropped on the spot he was at literal seconds ago. 

**BOOM** !

Eddie dropped to his knees as the blast forced him down. As carefully as he could (which wasn’t really that careful), Eddie sat the two wounded men down and grabbed his rifle, turning to lay down any fire. However, Eddie only saw two transport trucks with a burning one in the middle and the very people who were trying to kill them retreating up the hill back to their own trucks. Another pass of the jet blew those trucks sky high in a great fireball. Eddie leaned his head back and thanked God for not allowing him to die. 

As soon as the thought passed through his head, Eddie placed a hand to his stomach and revealed it to see blood coat his fingers. He’d definitely been shot. He grabbed a pad from his pack and he slid it under his armor and his sticky shirt beneath. Eddie grunted in pain as he pressed down, his vision becoming a little hazy. Shit, he was losing too much blood too damn quick. “I am not dying out here, damn it,” Eddie thought to himself, as his mind was flooded with fear, but also memories of Shannon and Christopher. With his six-year old’s face burning in his thoughts, Eddies groaned as he sat up and pressed harder on his wound. No, he would not die out here.

Minutes later, he was being ushered onto a helicopter along with Reynolds and Lieutenant Beckman. Edwards and the other wounded had been loaded onto the medical chopper that had just left. “Diaz.” Eddie looked to his right where Lieutenant Beckman sat.

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Do that again and I’ll court marshal you myself.” She looked Eddie dead in the eyes, with a facial expression that would scare any person into next week. But Eddie saw a light-hearted smile creep up. “Good work, Soldier.”

“Thank you, ma’am. You would’ve done the same,” he beamed.

Beckman scoffed, jokingly. “No, I wouldn’t.”

*********

Eddie stood proud in his dress greens as the late November sun shone down on the small crowd that had gathered for the medal celebration. He didn’t believe he deserved this, not by a long shot, but Eddie’sfamily would not let him turn down the honor. Eddie had arrived back stateside a week after the shootout, received his honorable discharge papers a week after that, and the notification that he was receiving the Silver Star for gallantry and intrepidity. And now here he was, two months after that with his whole family, his parents, sisters, his tia, Shannon, and Christopher. Even his Aubeula made the trip from Los Angeles. They all sat in the front row, smiles of pride or joy on their faces.

Lieutenant Beckman stood in front of Eddie as Colonel Ward spoke into the microphone, listing off Eddie’s accomplishments, much to Eddie’s hidden dismay. He didn’t want to hear about the things he had done, be reminded of the people he had saved and those he couldn’t. All he wanted to focus on was his family. Spend as much time as he could with his son. 

Eddie might have looked like he was paying attention, but he snapped back to reality when the Lieutenant moved in front of him, taking the medal from the Colonel, who had finished his speech. Beckman lifted the shining star from its platform and she fastened it to Eddies dress green before both she and the Colonel saluted Eddie. Eddie saluted back, and the crowd went crazy. 

Eddie’s family practically rushed him as they congratulated him. He shook his father’s hand, kissed his mother on the cheek, hugged Abuela, and finally came face-to-face with Shannon. Placing his hands on her hips, he drew her in close and kissed her. She pressed her hands against his torso, avoiding touching the new medal as if not to blemish it. Eddie opened his eyes as he felt a tugging sensation come from his hip. “Good job, Daddy!” Christopher had ahold of Eddie’s coat while balancing himself on his crutches. Eddie beamed at the boy, let go of Shannon, and leaned down to pick his son up. 

“Thank you, buddy.” With that, he planted a kiss on Chris’s cheek. The six-year-old giggled. “Ready to go home and have some of Abuelo’s cooking?” Chris nodded and Eddie reached for Shannon’s hand. Eddie looked back at her when she didn’t take it. Shannon wasn’t next to him anymore. Looking around, Eddie spotted her to the side, on her phone. She looked worried.

*********

“For acts of gallantry and intrepidity in connection with military operations against the enemies of the United States.” Eddie’s father held up the medal in one hand while reading the certificate in the other.

“We can all read the certificate, Ramon. You don’t need to recite it.”

“It’s not every day your son is a hero, Helena,” Abuela chastizes.

Setting down Chris’s cup in front of him, Eddie looks at his elders. “I’m not a hero, I just did what everyone else would do.”

Sighing, his father argued that if that were true, everyone would have a Silver Star. Slightly rolling his eyes, Eddie wiped Chris’s chin with a napkin. “Oh honey, he needs a straw and no ice,” his tia commented, “where is his juice box?”

Eddie shrugged, not really turning his attention from Chris. “I don’t really know.”

“Well, maybe Daddy can go be a hero in the kitchen?”

Ignoring the comment, Eddie grabbed the cup and headed back into the house. Sighing, Eddie passed Shannon who was at the island, cutting up some lettuce. “What’s wrong?” 

Eddie held up the cup and gestured toward the cabinet. “Apparently, I gave my son the wrong beverage.”

Shannon smiled, before opening the fridge and grabbing a juice box, and handing it to Eddie. “Have you gave any more thought to the California idea?” she asked, softly. “We could leave in the morning, just you, me, and Christopher.”

“Shannon, we have a house full of people. Half of them flew out here. Now isn’t the best time.”

“Eddie, you’re home now, we have time to spare now.”

“And you want me to immediately get in a car and drive 800 miles with a six-year-old,” Eddie shot back. 

“Your son,” Shannon said back, in an icy tone.

“I know that!” Eddie shook his head. “Can we talk about this later? I just need some time right now.” 

Grabbing the juice, Eddie headed back outside to Chris. Shannon stood still at the island.

*********

Eddie woke the next morning to Christopher tapping his arm. “Morning, buddy,” Eddie muttered, trying to wake himself up. Eddie looked at the little boy, not missing that Shannon’s side of the bed was empty. “Where’s Mommy?” 

“She’s gone.”

Eddie shot up, all concept of sleep, gone. He looked over at the nightstand, where a note with “Eddie” written on it sat. Opening it slowly, Eddie read “I need some time too”. 

*********

It had been six months since Shannon left. Eddie had called her right away to learn she was headed to California to see her mother. She assured Eddie she’d be back in a few weeks, but those had passed a long time ago. Eddie was angry. Angry at Shannon for leaving Christopher and him. Angry at his family for bad-mouthing her. Angry at himself for not listening to her. After talking to his tia and Abuela, Eddie decided it was time to take matters into his own hands. He worked all night to gather up his and Chris’s belongings before packing his truck up. His parents tried to convince him to stay or at least leave Chris with them. That part pissed him off and only reaffirmed his choice. 

“He needs his mother!” Eddie practically shouted as he finished zipping up the last bag in his room.

“No, what he needs is stability!” his mother argued.

“That’s what I’m trying to do, Mom.”

“Edmundo,” Helena tried. “Think this through.”

Eddie shook his head. “I have. I’m doing this for Chris.” With a quick goodbye to his parents, Eddie buckled Christopher up in his seat and then got in the driver’s seat and pulled out of the driveway. He looked back at Chris, who gave him a confused, but content look. “You and me, right, buddy?”

Christopher nodded and smiled. “You and me, Daddy.”

**********

Eddie and Christopher arrived in LA two days later, meeting up with Abuela. After a long conversation, Eddie decided that since he was here, he would let Shannon make the next move. Finding a place near Abuela wasn’t hard, but settling in was. Eddie had no idea what he was going to do for a job or anything, as none of the mechanics around were hiring. Then a crazy idea popped in his head as he typed in “LA fire department” in his web browser. Hell, he’d been in plenty of firefights, how different could actual fire be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii sorry i've been gone for like *checks imaginary watch on my wrist that def isn't there* ten months. life has been, well, horrible for everyone I think. Anyway, now that 9-1-1 is back on, and I have some more free time, hopefully I'll be able to post more often.   
> Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! It's about 600 words shorter than the rest (what do you expect its been about ten months, I need a buffer) and I also tried my hand with combat writing which I've never done before. Thanks y'all for being loyal and so supportive!

**Author's Note:**

> So... how was it? please let me know if you like it and if I should even continue! I had a blast writing this, but by no means am I expecting perfection! Hopefully, chapter two will be uploaded soon


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